Upon returning from vacation, I’m supposed to follow a certain script, in which I tell you about my wonderful family trip, reassuring all parents (including myself) that one really can relax and enjoy time with their children. Well, I can do that—my family shared many wonderful times on our vacation in Canada—but the most important moment may well have been the time at lunch in the Quebec City when my wife and I had one of the bigger blow-outs we’d had in a while. The kids facilitated it—blame them!—because they sat a separate table.
It’s been one big joyous burnout of a year for our family, what with my daughter’s bat mitzvah, and my wife and I both working and all. And, in a way, I feel like the beginning of our vacation was an adjustment period, a catch-up on how to enjoy down-time together as a family. The blow-out in question occurred about five days into the trip, after I complained that Rebecca wasn’t being flexible in accommodating my little preferences during the course of our days; her counter-complaint being that I wasn’t taking her complaints seriously.
A classic face-off, yes?
The best part of it—and the best part of our marriage—is that both of us have always been pretty good at attending to the other’s needs (once spoken), and that usually goes a long way in moving beyond most “situations.” This outburst, in particular, felt cathartic. Like it was time to acknowledge all the stress we’ve been under—and put some of it behind us.
Canada was great, by the way. Truly. But more on that some other time.
Eric Messinger is the editor of New York Family. He can be reached at
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