How to Deal With Working Mom Guilt

First, let me just put it out there. The title of this piece should not be How to Deal with Working Mom Guilt; it should read How to Live with Working Mom Guilt. After ten years, I have yet to master complete balance in my life. My mom guilt can cause temporary paralysis of the senses, cause me to stand in the middle of a street in tears, cause me to rethink my profession and overall feel at a loss for words when I feel I have disappointed my kids. And every year, we hear some statistic or quote from a powerful woman, and we know we are not alone in experiencing working mom guilt. 

I can list what my shortcomings are as a busy mom, but why even go there? The crazy part is I am a good mother. I go beyond to make sure my kids have a childhood that will provide them with structure and love that provides the tools that will result (I hope!) in caring and mature adults. 

Like any feeling, be it joy, sadness — guilt comes in ebb and flows. And as most moms can attest to, it is a work in progress not to let it take over and get the better of us. So I live with mom guilt, and I deal with it, and here are a few ways I do both. 

Still getting adjusted to the kids being back at school? Check out Back to School Is on: Seven Tips to Keep You Mentally and Physically Happy (Really!).

Know Your Worth

Let’s go Zen Mama for a bit. Affirmations, self-care, reading an encouraging book or following people on Instagram that lift you — this all helps. Being firm in believing that you are doing your best will help when the mom guilt sets in. Like all negative vibes, you can dismiss them as quickly as they hit or if there is a lesson to learn there, check in with that feeling, learn then release. 

Be Particular With Who You Follow on Social Media 

Be realistic with yourself when it comes to how others live, primarily through social media. If following a particular person is making you feel you are not even close to having as good as life as this person then unfollow or mute them. There doesn’t have to be any deep thinking into this. It’s okay if following someone who posts beautiful images is aspirational for you. It is also okay if it is not. Social media should be fun, not make you feel less than, especially as a mother.

Set Boundaries in Your Life

Saying no or simply shutting down negative situations is a personal challenge. In the last year, I have become much better at choosing things and situations that work for me and my family unit. I only have myself to blame when I allow in a person or situation that is negative. Boundaries. It is essential to know what is going to tip you over. And it’s fine. Whatever your threshold is, is good, as you do not have to measure up to anyone else. You are magnificent, and doing a great job. Say this to yourself every day. Believe it. 

Accept or Ask for Help

This is something of a work in progress for me. I have a hard time reaching out and asking for help. Lately, I have been so busy that the offers to pick up one child or stop by early to take another to school have been a tremendous support in my day to day. Time to not carry every burden. If you have the means to hire more help, hire away. If your mother in law would like to visit and the worst thing she does is fill your dishwasher wrong, who cares — she provides love and hugs, so a win-win for all. Ask away.

Reach Out to Friends. Know You’re Not Alone

When it comes to mom guilt, it is essential to remember that most of us experience this at some point in our lives. Many seasoned parents have told me that especially when kids are young, we experience it more. Go out and get your nails done. Sit and have a warm latte, even if it is only for 5 minutes. Reach out to friends, whether in person or through a mom group. Supporting each other and sharing our stories is how we all get through these rough moments and most importantly, we’re all in this together. 

Relevant Directory Listings

See More

Sports Academy at the Park Slope Day Camp

<p dir="ltr">Sports Academy is the perfect camp for athletes of any experience. Drills & skills are supplemented with team and individual sports. Traditional camp activities, theme days, sports on the beach, trips and the pool add spirit and variety.</p> <p dir="ltr">Each week is an action-packed experience. From soccer to volleyball, baseball, karate, fencing and more, Sports Academy’s coaching team will help your child develop their confidence, skills, and value effort over outcome.</p> <p dir="ltr">Options to mix and match with Take the Stage and Traditional Camp.</p> <p dir="ltr">Extended hours & transportation from most Brooklyn neighborhoods available.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2494f89e-7fff-d5f4-e66b-31c43dadf084">For campers entering grades 1 - 6.</span></p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-2494f89e-7fff-d5f4-e66b-31c43dadf084"><strong>Register while discounts are at their highest.</strong> </span></p>

Friends Academy

<h1>Since 1876, Friends Academy has set the standard of academic excellence on Long Island.</h1> <p>Since 1876, Friends Academy has set the standard of academic excellence on Long Island. Our timeless values elevate our outstanding academic program to create a unique educational experience, where our students are empowered to inquire, reflect, and engage in real-world, life-changing ways. Friends Academy graduates are exceptionally prepared for college and the world.</p> <p>Friends Academy educates students, ages 3 through 12th grade. We offer outstanding experience in our Little Friends Daycare program, and a best-in-class education for every level of your child’s development in our Early Childhood, Lower, Middle, and Upper Schools. At every step of our students’ journey, they are seamlessly prepared for the next grade, division, and challenge in life. Our students are known, embraced, and loved by a community of dedicated, experienced teachers who provide individualized attention through our small class sizes and outstanding curriculum.</p> <p>Founded 148 years ago, we are the #1 ranked private school on Long Island by Niche.com and have been ranked #1 in the following categories for four years in a row:</p> <p>#1 K-12 private school</p> <p>#1 private College Prep HS</p> <p>#1 private High School</p> <p>Please visit our website @ friendsacademy.org or call our Admissions team at 516-676-0393 to schedule a visit and find out how Friends Academy might be the smartest investment you can make for your child's future.</p>

Homage Skateboard Academy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our Summer Program provides a well balanced INDOOR and OUTDOOR camp experience </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">in the Gowanus/Boerum Hill area.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> Kids can take advantage of both the physical and mental benefits of exercise and outdoor exploration, along with indoor activities in a temperature controlled state of the art Skatepark. Campers build their skate skills in a fun and safe indoor environment, then take those skills outdoors gaining further confidence in their abilities.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"> </p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In addition to daily outdoor programming, each Wednesday (weather permitting), we will go on a mini field trip to a local skatepark or skate spot.  Field trip spots include: Prospect Park, Washington Park (Brooklyn), Thomas Greene Park, a local Skateshop, Astoria Park (dependent on the group). We will spend more outdoor time on field trip day! We will meet at Homage in the morning during regular drop off hours and then head out for the day.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our experienced instructors love to teach skateboarding and are constantly progressing in their teaching abilities, just like their skating abilities. Our coaches are Red Cross Certified for both CPR and First Aid, and have years of child care experience. Our brand new Skatepark, designed and built by World Class Skatepark Builders Push Parks, allows for skaters of any level or ability to learn, practice, and have fun!</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong id="docs-internal-guid-db7b5156-7fff-c2d6-b5c1-33b29def4b3e" style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">AGES 6-14 </span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5:1 RATIO - STUDENTS:COACHES</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ALL LEVELS WELCOME</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">LOANER BOARDS AVAILABLE</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Sessions offered mid-June-August</p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><strong><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">HOURS</span></strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">EARLY DROP OFF 8:30am-9:00am</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">CAMP DAY 9:00am-3:00pm</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">LATE PICKUP* 3:00pm-4:00pm Skating Allowed, Extra Time to Practice</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p>