Natalie Diaz sits in a coffee shop on Mulberry Street, where she has lived her whole life, as the scent of roasting espresso beans fills the air. “I never wanted twins,” she says, cupping a steaming mug, “but now I can’t imagine my life without them.”
After giving birth to fraternal twins Anna and Johnny five years ago following multiple pregnancy complications and an IVF procedure, Diaz had her hands full. Caring for two infants, one of whom had special needs, at the same time, proved overwhelming. Without daily assistance from a nanny or her husband who worked to support the growing family, she was at a loss for answers to practical questions: How should she balance breastfeeding between the babies? When should they nap and where? How could she bathe them together? As her children grew, she faced a different set of dilemmas: Should she read each child a story before bedtime, or one to both? At birthday parties, whose name should be sung first during “Happy Birthday”?
When her children turned 4 years old, Diaz decided to use the knowledge she had gained through trial and error to help other parents of twins. In April of 2009, Twiniversity was conceived and launched.
Inspired in part by Diaz’s other role as director of the Manhattan Twins Club—a non-profit organization offering support to city parents of multiples—Twiniversity began with a handful of mothers pregnant with twins discussing their concerns, and has grown into a virtual training course for expecting and new parents of multiples.
“There is definitely a need to have this education in the twin community,” says Diaz. “You can get information from your doctor and other sources, but I’m like the MacGyver Mom. I’m the Every Twin Mom.”
Twiniversity currently includes two classes: Twins Prep, which is for expectant parents and deals with issues such as which gear to buy, types of help available, and how to juggle two (or more) babies simultaneously; and Intro to Twins, concentrating on the concerns of new parents, from scheduling and sleep training to negotiating nanny contracts. Both classes allow parents to interact and share stories.
In addition to acquiring practical advice, Twiniversity is about moral support. “The group classes let you know that you are going to be fine,” Diaz says. “Moms are so nervous and anxious about the challenges they will face and need to realize that they are not the only ones who have gone through this.” Plus, portions of classes are tailored specifically for fathers. “Every twin needs two sets of hands,” Diaz explains, “and what better set of hands could you have than those of your partner?” Diaz’s personal experience is invaluable to expectant and new parents—having gone through an IVF procedure like so many families today, she can speak to the challenges that mothers will have to face, including invasive questioning from family as well as strangers. “When you’re pregnant with twins, apparently your womb is public information,” she
says. She and other parents discuss strategies for responding to overly
personal questions.
Unlike the Manhattan Twins Club, which is focused on local
families, Twiniversity is becoming a global online community
(twiniversity.com). About 70 percent of its members are online and
located outside Manhattan. Diaz says the site is especially helpful to
parents living in rural communities that often don’t know other parents
of twins.
Access to
the online community is free after enrolling in one of the two classes,
and includes the opportunity to take advantage of innumerable coupons
valued at over $200, from Ringling Brothers Circus tickets to diapers.
With double the amount of clothing and formula, and with the cost of
college education constantly rising, “every penny counts,” Diaz says.
Twiniversity not only
prepares parents for the challenges of raising multiple children at the
same time through what Natalie refers to as “taking the
deer-in-the-headlightslook out of your eyes,” but also discusses the
benefits that raising twins can offer. Natalie, whose children share a
bunk bed, says that her kids stay up late every night, talking about
everything from classmates to how much they enjoy popcorn. “It’s awesome
to be a kid and have the best slumber party of your life every night,”
she says. “You don’t have to force the togetherness. It just happens.”
Through Twiniversity, parents of twins will learn that managing the
complexity of multiple children is not just possible, but may just be
the best thing that ever happened to their family.
Twiniversity
Tricks To Stay Sane
Natalie Diaz offers new parents of multiples a few
tips.
ACCEPT ALL
HELP. Even if you have a full-time nanny, if your family and
friends offer you a few hours (or minutes), take it! In the first few
months, everyone wants to see the twins. Take frequent advantage of
that, because when the new baby smell wears off, the visitors become
less and less.
PLAN YOUR DAY WITH
MILITARY PRECISION. If you never thought of yourself as one of those
parents who run home so your kids can nap, accept that you may need to
turn into one. Having your twins on a schedule makes your days (and your
twins’ days) a lot nicer, making you a happy parent.
“SUPPORT” IS NOT JUST
FOR BRAS. Multiple families need other multiple families. Even if
just to steal great ideas, parents need a place to connect and vent.
Parents of singletons don’t always share our philosophies, so having a
non-judgmental sounding board online and in person is an awesome asset.
Places like Twiniversity and the Manhattan Twins Club provide these
connections.
HAVE THE RIGHT
EQUIPMENT. The multiple family’s most key item in the city is the
stroller. Make sure you have the ideal one for you. My favorite is the
Valco Tri-Mode Twin. With double sun visors, sturdy wheels, and a narrow
width for a double (29 inches), it will take you from birth to 4 years
in the blink of an eye—and in style.
TOMORROW IS ANOTHER
DAY! If you didn’t have the best day today, you can always begin
again tomorrow. If they didn’t sleep well last night, maybe tonight is
the night they make it through 12 hours. If they took a tumble at the
playground, tomorrow they will be surer on their feet. Every day starts
fresh and every day is another opportunity to enjoy the joy of your
multiples.
