I was so much younger then—and by “then” I mean three weeks ago: My wife was thriving at her new job; you know I love my job; my daughter was immersed in helping to produce her school’s annual Shakespeare play (“Much Ado”); my son seemed to transitioning nicely into his new middle school; and I’ve been transitioning into lower key parenting with the help of a wonderful new book, written by a middle school teacher, called The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Well…
Last week we received the note from Adam’s Spanish teacher saying that he missed a few homework assignments. His comment? “Science is worse.” Sure enough, we get the phone call the next day from his science teacher, confirming a streak of homework misses. But you know what? Her message was also a surprise and a delight, humane and instructional.
To paraphrase, she basically advised us not to panic, that this really is a time of transition and she had every confidence that he’ll step up.
What delighted me is that I felt like I could, and should, continue to steer a course where I’m letting go but maybe not to the full extent that I did—teaching him more about structure and planning, but not being his regular minder.
In other words, it’s a time of transition for me too.
Eric Messinger is the editor of New York Family. He can be reached at [email protected]
