Are you experiencing back-to-school parent jitters?
As parents and students begin the school year, it is a time of excitement, expectation, and renewal. It can also be a time for stomach butterflies and back-to-school jitters. As a Head of School, I see the worry lines on the faces of new teachers, new students, and many, many parents. In fact, parents can often corner the market on back-to-school concerns.
When I speak to parents during the first few days of student orientation and classroom visits, I often let them know that their children will no doubt adapt far more quickly to school than they will. The routines of the school schedule, along with the daily stimulation and professionalism of teachers, quickly regulate a child’s school life. For the parent, though, often left at the front door early in the morning, it is the hours of waiting and imagining until dismissal, or when they return home from work at the end of the day, that can exacerbate those jitters. So here are a few time-tested tips to calm your nerves and prepare everyone for a successful year:
*Regulate the family to a daily school schedule at the very start of the school year, by getting in the habit of packing the school bag or knapsack at night, getting up at the right time in the morning, and eating a healthy breakfast with your child.
*Read up and familiarize yourself with school guidelines and protocols–dress code, bell times, class expectations–all will make you feel more at ease with the environment your child is entering. When you’re reassured, your child will feel this and be more relaxed as well.
*Complete all necessary paperwork as soon as possible, including health forms, field trip consent forms, and afterschool activity forms. Create school folders, to prevent misplacing paperwork and then feeling anxious about due dates. By completing forms promptly, you can concentrate on your child’s excitement about school, rather than on what’s still left on your plate.
*Aim to be at least five to 10 minutes early to school each day, particularly during the first few weeks. No matter how you commute, doing so in a relaxed timely manner will set the day up for success.
*If you look confident, happy, and relaxed, your child will, too. Children pick up on your nerves and tension, so if they have some back-to-school apprehension, it will only be amplified by yours. Answer their questions about school, friends, and teachers in a positive, encouraging tone. Agree that it’s fine to be a little nervous; in fact, most students will have some nervous excitement about school. But their teachers will welcome them warmly to ease their way.
*Trust the professionals who are familiar with helping students transition back to school or to start school for the very first time. Administrators and teachers work diligently in August on back-to-school orientations, lessons, and the possible challenges some very young students may have with separation. They have been through these challenges year after year and have a multitude of tools in their experience toolbox to assist your child. Parents who trust in the guidance of the professionals will see their child settle quickly into a regular school schedule.
*Ensure that dinner time is quality time when the whole family can talk about what has transpired during the day and what the rest of the school week holds. It’s important to share stories, focus on positive developments, as well as to talk about any concerns, in a relaxed setting and to finish the day well with another routine.
*Have realistic expectations for your child and for yourself, so that you can both adjust to the new school year without undue pressure. I meet with many parents who want their children to learn three languages, try out for every team, and join every after-school club starting on the first day! Let kids be kids, and don’t compare your child to their peers.
*All in all, try to enter the school year with confidence and remember to trust the process. Your child will quickly adapt to the classroom, teachers, and school expectations. By the time October comes around, he or she will be astounding you with their new-found maturity, increased vocabulary, and thirst for knowledge.
Dianne Drew is Head of School at Dwight School, a 141-year-old independent school in New York City. A native of Melbourne,Australia, she is an internationally recognized educator with over 20 years of experience in teaching, curriculum development, and educational consulting in both public and private schools in Australia,Asia, and New York City. Also serving as Vice President of the Middle Years Program for the Guild of International Baccalaureate Schools in North America, Dianne is expecting her first child this fall.
