Perhaps my worst instinct is to let myself get as riled up as my children are when they are at their worst, plummeting our conversation into fits of yelling and bad feelings. I know better. Someone has to be the adult. I need to be doing the best I can to impart tools of calm and perspective that will help them as they get older. So, yes, I wish could take back my morning with my son.
It started well enough but ended in anger and frustration just as we had to say goodbye to each other at school. I had a point, trying to chat with him about how we can better check his homework, but he wasn’t in the mood–and I wasn’t in the mood to let go. And I know, I know…it’s so much more helpful to a child to make your suggestions during a moment when everything is calm and loving. Once they’re upset, there is almost no point to anything except to help them regain their composure. I’m not going to transform his life on the way to school! And I really regret my part in how he started his school day.
Eric Messinger is Editor of New York Family. He can be reached at [email protected]
