It’s summer! It’s the season of waiting for the ice cream truck to sound the bell, the season of waiting for the lifeguard to open the pool, the season of waiting for vacation to begin, and the season of waiting in summer traffic.
But waiting is not specific to a season or a time or a scent or a touch. Waiting is a life skill. It is also a highly preferred social skill. But for those families who share this planet with children struggling with social-behavioral challenges, waiting is a difficult skill to master.
Just like other social-behavioral skills, waiting can be taught in increments or steps. First, it is important to break down waiting into its basic parts. Contrive (or make up) a situation where your child will want an item or activity that you have access to. For example, you place a brand-new bottle of bubbles next to you on the porch, knowing full well that bubbles are a highly preferred reinforcer! What happens next is natural — the child will request the bubbles, either verbally or non verbally. Teaching how to wait now begins.
When teaching a person the act of waiting, it is important to be structured in both body and voice. As a special educator and behavior analyst, I always make attempts to provide visual cues with my hands and fingers. Try to use the universal wait symbol of holding your index finger in the air as you say “wait” one time without any other words bombarding that verbal guidance. After you provide that direction, visually and silently scan the child’s body. He should be calm and quiet (or quietly speaking to others in the absence of nagging you for the bubbles). For example, your child can be waiting while giggling excitedly and singing a song about how much fun this is going to be to play. Once you see socially acceptable waiting, let him enjoy the bubbles.
If your child is having difficulty with controlling his words and body during the waiting phase, then he needs to be taught how to wait. Gently lay your hands onto his shoulders to keep him grounded. Whisper how “we” will wait together for bubbles calmly. Model waiting for the child. Sit with your feet planted into the ground, with your hands flat in your lap. Simply whisper “do this.” Once the child complies, verbally reinforce “nice waiting,” and then open the bubbles to begin playing. This procedure can be practiced using a multitude of motivating items and activities. Keep the time span small to increase the chance of success.
Some natural environment teaching that will promote waiting skills:
• Your child is sitting in the bathtub with the water running and wants you to pour in the bubble bath (or the toys). Just as you are about to pour you say, “Wait.” After you see calm waiting, you pour.
• Your child is waiting for you to take a Popsicle out of the refrigerator. Just before you open the door, you declare, “Wait.” When you see calm waiting with a quiet mouth, then the Popsicle appears.
• Your family is swimming in the pool. Tell your child to get ready and watch you pop out of the water. Right before you dunk your head you shout, “Wait.”
There are so many more teaching tricks to think of, so be creative and think outside of the box to keep learning fun and motivating!
Keep words simple and the time span short. The goal is for the teacher and student to be successful. These motivating moments of waiting will create behavioral momentum. This means that your child will positively practice waiting with a quiet demeanor, as opposed to pulling at apron strings and coattails. Build up his stamina for waiting and watch the results the next time you are on the telephone and you hold up your index finger, while whispering, “Wait!”
