So there I was, settling back into work last Thursday morning, following the long stretch of official Holidays and lazy days, when a text popped up from my 13-year-old daughter, which said: “My body is ready.”
I wrote right back: “What are you talking about? Are you okay?” She was supposed to be at school.
She responded: “Oh my god that wasn’t for you!” Followed by: “SOMEBODY STOLE MY PHONE IGNORE THAT.”
For me, more than anything, the incident is a sign that my 13-year-old (she’ll be 14 in May) is no longer my 5-year-old, or my 9-year-old, or even my 12-year-old. As my wife later said to me: “Well, at least we know what they’re joking about.”
In short, the back-story was that during her one of her study periods, one of her friends (a boy) took her phone and wrote the annoying text. In other words, he pranked her. Because the incident had the potential to be really embarrassing for her, I doubly emphasized to her that I get what happened and she needn’t worry about my being annoyed or shocked. I wasn’t and I wasn’t. But I did gently inquire as to whether she felt like she was being unfairly picked on, or whether she felt like the incident fell within the bounds of the stupid-things-kids-her-age-do (I didn’t put it that way). I knew she considers the boy a friend. Her feelings were clear: she was a bit annoyed but didn’t feel humiliated or threatened.
My wife, the all-star parent, actually put the incident to rest with a wise and humorous touch. She too spoke with Elena to make sure the text wasn’t an example of an ongoing problem at school. Rebecca also raised the subject of being responsible about what’s said or posted online–and how even innocent pranks can escalate in unforeseen and troubling directions in the digital domain. But to reassure Elena that all was well, my wife–with Elena’s complicity–sent me my second surprise text of the day, but with the same message: “My body is ready.”
Apparently, Elena later shared that end note with her school friends, who roundly agreed that she has a very cool mom. About her dad, however, they’re not so sure.
Eric Messinger is the editor of New York Family. He can be reached at [email protected].
