With my daughter’s graduation day looming, I can’t help but reminisce about my son’s big day almost two years ago.
We planned a big party that would take place at our home a few hours after the ceremony’s conclusion. We set up the back yard the day before, and we decided to cater the event to save time and to avoid unnecessary stress.
After the ceremony, our family and close friends packed into a half-dozen cars to head home. While chatting with my daughter’s godmother, she casually asked who took my daughter. Panic quickly set in because I had no idea. Fifteen minutes later, we found an exasperated 16-year-old waiting impatiently at the entrance to an almost empty parking lot. Even though I thought we had everything under control, the inevitable chaos of the occasion had caught up with us.
Whether you intend to plan a big bash or celebrate in another way, take in every detail of this special day, which symbolizes the infinite possibilities the future holds for your graduate.
Party time tips
Parties can send the calmest of parents into a tailspin, so preparation is key.
Timing: Plan the party several hours after the ceremony. You will have time to regroup or change your clothing. Other options: Party on a different weekend or host a “graduation eve” or “open house” get-together.
Food: Unless you have several relatives willing to donate casseroles, a catered event will ease the stress. Finger desserts served buffet style (in lieu of cutting a large cake) is a simple alternative. New trend: party-size pizzas — simple and inexpensive.
Service: Consider hiring one or two servers so you can enjoy the celebration. Money saver: young teens in your neighborhood might be willing to work for a “tip.”
Photos: Photo booths provide instant fun and party favors for your guests. Other options: place instant cameras on tables for guests to capture special moments. Ask your younger kids to snap random photos. Afterward, create a poster-size collage for her dorm room wall.
Activities: Sunshine calls for volleyball, KanJam (a Frisbee game), water balloon tosses, or tug of war, but plan for rain just in case. Guess the teacher: teachers’ names are taped to graduates’ backs — guests offer clues until the graduates guess correctly. Jar of M&Ms: ask graduates to guess the number of M&Ms in their school color or colors. Winner takes home the jar.
Don’t break the bank:
• Dual hosting: Share costs with another family.
• Print your own invitations.
• Skip the rentals: Borrow extra tables and chairs.
• Bake cupcakes in lieu of ordering a cake.
• Skip the DJ: Play party selections from an iPod hooked up to wireless speakers.
Lose the stress
You want your teen to remember that you were all smiles on her graduation day, so avoid potential stress triggers.
“Graduation day marks a major life passage,” says Jean Fitzpatrick, a marriage and individual therapist in Manhattan.
“It’s natural for parents to feel the pang of knowing that their child is growing up and becoming more independent. Focus on staying in the moment and enjoying the day’s events together,” she suggests.
Dr. Jeffrey Guterman, a Florida-based licensed mental health counselor and author of the best-selling book “Mastering the Art of Solution-Focused Counseling,” points out, “If parents are excessively stressed, it can help to encourage them to tap into their own natural effective coping skills. I encourage parents to think about what has worked effectively for them in the past when dealing with stressful situations.”
If you plan well, accept help when it’s offered, and focus on your teen, graduation day will garner a lifetime of precious memories. Just don’t forget the Kleenex!
Tips and tales
“We had a taco food truck come for my daughter’s graduation party. Everyone loved it, and it was an easy cleanup!”
Joan Bullock, Hopkinton, MA
“We plan a graduation brunch.”
Debbie Yaeger, Saugerties, NY
“Set up a ‘photo booth.’ You can rent a set up but it would be pretty easy to D.I.Y. All you need is a plain back drop, a camera on a tripod, consistent lighting under a tent, and lots of props-dress ups.”
Victoria Kane, Hyde Park, NY
“We had a backyard picnic in August when the June flurry of parties was well past. I made a massive quantity of pesto — easy to serve at room temperature. We kept it simple: salads and made-ahead desserts.”
Wendy Meade, Hyde Park, NY
“We went on a trip with a few of his friends.”
Eileen Heller Sarter, Kennett Square, P.A.
Check out these websites for more creative ideas:
• www.punchbowl.com/party-ideas/graduation-parties
• www.hallmark.com/graduation/ideas/graduation-party-ideas/
• www.delish.com/entertaining-ideas/parties/graduation/
Share your ideas
Upcoming topic: Tips to encourage your teen to get involved in politics.
Please send your full name, address, and brief comments to myrnahaskell@gmail.com or visit www.myrnahaskell.com
Myrna Beth Haskell is a feature writer, columnist and author of, “Lions And Tigers And Teens: Expert Advice and Support for the Conscientious Parent Just Like You” (Unlimited Publishing LLC, 2012). For details, visit www.myrnahaskell.com.
