Adapted from Practical Wisdom for Parents by Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum
Children who do too much too soon tend to be stressed, anxious, and susceptible to feelings of low self-esteem. Overscheduling effectively inhibits children from fully participating and getting the most they can from school.
There’s nothing wrong with giving your child an opportunity to explore a range activities outside of school. But what you don’t need to do is cram all these activities into a single week or even a single year. A young child has all the time in the world to learn tennis, guitar, or taekwondo. If your child is mastering these skills at the expense of more basic tasks such as how to put on a coat, go to the toilet, or hold a cup, then you know you’ve overdone it. If you begin to feel like you’re acting as your child’s personal assistant, arranging and facilitating her schedule, as opposed to actually participating in her life, then you’ve overdone it.
Think back to your own childhood and remember the things that enriched your life and made you happy. Time and again, parents acknowledge that the things they enjoyed most did not come in the form of classes and lessons, nor did they discover their interests and passions in the first five years of life.
If you do decide to enroll your child in one (or at the most two) activities a week, it’s important to keep in mind your own expectations and how these are affecting the selections you make.
- Is the activity interesting to your child or is it more about what you wish you had done as a child?
- Does the activity reflect your interests or your child’s?
- Do you feel your child will enjoy the activity or do you think she “ought” to do it?
- Are you targeting your child’s interests or have a preconceived need to “enhance” her skills?
- Is your child ready physically or emotionally to meet the requirements of the class?
- Does your child have the attention span for a teacher-directed activity such as violin or ballet?
Above all, ask yourself, “Is it fun?”
