When you tell someone you are expecting, typically right after they say: “Congrats,” and within a nano-second they’re asking you if you know the gender of the baby. When you say “no” and that you want to be surprised on the big day, the reactions seem to be very passionate and very interesting.
For my husband and I, we decided that there are so few genuine surprises in life that when we have the opportunity to be completely in a surprise, as we will be in the delivery room, why not take it? Lots of responses have been: “No matter what day you find out it’s a surprise!” Or: “The only reason people were surprised back in the day is because they didn’t have a choice!” Or: “This is NYC, space is limited! You need only what you need, don’t you want to prepare?”
In general I would say we are in the minority of wanting to wait it out. Even at our ultra-sound, I swear the technician gave me a sideways glance when I told her no we weren’t finding out the gender. That same day at Destination Maternity a fellow prego-ego talked to me about how she felt that I was missing an opportunity for my husband and I to really bond with the baby before birth by not finding out if it was a little boy or girl.
The few people who were surprised or agree with waiting, are also very passionate about it and share the rational that I have. I heard from a mother and father of four who were surprised each time. They said that each of those four moments were some of the most life changing and amazing in their lives. That it is euphoric and blissful after the intensity of labor to find out at the end just who is joining your family. I have also heard from other mothers that they believe that it helped them through labor not knowing, that their curiously of finding out the sex made them only want to push harder! Being a wuss and quite nervous about the actual birth process myself, I found this another positive towards waiting! Hey, I’ll take any extra edge I can get on delivery day!
If I have come to any conclusion it is that just like many issues dealing with pregnancy and parenting there is no wrong way. Both finding out the gender during pregnancy and waiting until your little one’s birthday are great choices for the individual parents. No way it more magical or means you are going to be a more prepared parent. I think that whatever steps you need to take to become a mommy or a daddy are personal and perfect for each individual. In the meantime, I’m taking bets from friends on my own baby-to-be’s gender!
Lindsey Peer’s in the owner of the Craft Studio.
