Naming your child may be one of the toughest decisions you and your partner make together. How do you avoid having the eighth Olivia at the playground? How do you deal with in-laws who suggest a family name that rhymes with poop? We chatted with the experts— Jennifer Moss, founder and CEO of Babynames.com and author of “The One-In-A-Million Baby Name Book,” and Pamela Redmond Satran, creator of Nameberry.com and co-author of “The Baby Name Bible”—to find out the top five things to keep in mind on your quest for the perfect name.
1. Advice is good. Unbiased advice is better. Once you break the happy news that you are expecting, be ready for opinions—lots of them. Many expectant couples grapple with whether to keep their potential names private or share them with friends and family. “[Sharing the names you are considering] is a good way to gauge if a name is hard to understand or if it’s trendier than you think, but family members can give bad advice based on their own preferences,” Redmond Satran says. She suggests turning to unbiased sources, like message boards on websites like Nameberry. “One thing that has surprised us is how many ‘name nerds’ there are out there,” she says. “These are regular people who like hanging out on message boards and dispense excellent advice without personal agendas.”
2. Tradition! Tradition? Say you are Lutheran and your husband is Jewish, and are trying to find a name that honors both faiths. “This is a first step in a long journey of reconciling different traditions. You have to respect each other’s beliefs and find a middle ground,” Redmond Satran says. Instead of looking to saints or the Torah, Moss suggests looking back in your own lives and finding someone to honor there. “Ask yourself who were the teachers that mentored you, or characters from literature that helped shape your character,” she suggests. Both experts recommend using your child’s middle name to honor your history or culture. “The middle name has become the place to express creativity, or for a family or an ethnic name,” Redmond Satran says.
3. Play pretend! Your kid has to live with this name forever—why not try it out for a day? “Go to a coffee shop and use the name as your name,” suggests Moss. “See how people react to it and how the name feels for you.” She also encourages parents to always keep the perspective of the child in mind. “If you give your son a common name that has a ‘creative’ spelling, he going to have the burden of spelling it for people every day.” Moss reminds parents to use common sense—names should be easy to spell and pronounce, and shouldn’t be a joke or pun. “Ask yourself if the name can grow with the child—it might be cute for a twoyear-old, but will it work in the board room?” She especially emphasizes this for naming twins. “Try to avoid cutesy, matching names. Twins are going to have to share everything—their birthdays, their looks, their clothes. Give them their own names.”
4. Do your research (but beware). You want to find out the meaning of Marvin or find out just how popular Matilda is? Surf around online, but be careful. “Be sure you are using are the best sources out there,” Redmond Satran warns. “There is so much information online, but there’s also a lot of misinformation out there. There are a handful of great sites that give genuine meanings and sensible advice.”
So, what is popular? Moss says Aiden for boys is still hot, though Aiden sound-alikes have dropped off. “For girls, Emma, Amelia, and all of the old-fashioned American
Girl names are very popular, and the Twilight names like Bella and Isabella are huge.”
Pamela tells us, “Two-syllable boys names are at the top of the list. For girls, names
that start with vowels are big, as are “L” names like Leila, Lola, and Tallulah.” We checked out Nameberry’s blog and according to their latest research, Finn is the most searched for boys name for the first three-quarters of 2010, followed by Henry, Jasper, Asher, and Atticus. Charlotte was number one for girls, with Violet, Seraphina, Imogen, and Adelaide rounding out the top five. However, just because a name is the most searched for, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the most popular; many parents-to-be may check out more experimental names, but ultimately go with another choice.
5. Even The Name Game has rules. You love the name Crosby. Your partner hates it. What do you do? Redmond Satran suggests laying at least one ground rule: if one of you really hates the name, the other one has to take it off the table.
“It’s all about compromise,” Moss agrees, “and one parent shouldn’t have the entire burden of coming up with names. Often one parent has the list and the other parent just is the veto person. Like any decision, it has to be a two-way street.”
As far as the nuts and bolts rules of names, the experts suggest to think opposite. “If
you have a difficult last name, make sure the first name is easy,” says Moss. “If it is a very common last name like Smith or Carter, you can be a little more creative with the first name.” Redmond Satran adds, “Mixing up the syllables is probably the most harmonious—like 3-1-2 or 1-3-2—but that’s not a hard and fast rule.”
Namenapping: The New Identity Theft
You and your BFF are both expecting girls. Happy times, right? Sure…until she announces on her Facebook page she’s naming her little one Amy. The name you have always wanted for your daughter that since reading “Little Women” in the sixth grade. A fact you have told her many times. Sad to say, you’ve just become the victim of namenapping.
A super-hot topic on the baby name message boards, both of our experts had something to say about the namenapping issue. “Our advice is, if it is your sister’s favorite name since she was 8 or if the first son has always used the name in the family, then it is off-limits, “Redmond Satran says. “It gets a little more wobbly if it’s your cousin’s kid’s name and they live across the country.”
“If it is within the immediate family, it is more of an issue than if it is your next door neighbor or your cousin,” Moss agrees. “It all depends on the relationship and how close the kids will be.” Jennifer also warns if it will be the same exact names– same first and last name– it should be avoided.
“It is not just what you do, but how you handle it and how you tell family members,” Redmond Satran says. “Unfortunately, it is often a situation that doesn’t have an easy outcome. If you are a would-be namenapper, I would really look for a different name.”
For more baby-naming wisdom, check out Nameberry.com and Babynames.com.
