Because we don’t all live in the same suburb with the same schools, it’s not uncommon for newly acquainted city parents with school-age children to ask each other about the schools their children attend. If I’m feeling playful, I’ll sometimes respond with an answer like “Rikers” (“because of the free pre-K”) or “Harvard” (“just to move things along”). The question is the somewhat status-conscious bookend to the anxious questions new parents ask when they first start thinking about school admissions in the city.
In an active neighborhood parent group I belong to on Facebook, a well-meaning and generous mom recently posted an offer that many parents appreciatively took her up on. As she explained, she’s been doing a lot of research about local schools, and has visited over 20 schools already; and she would be happy to share her list of impressions with other parents, and was eager to hear their views too.
I was very conflicted about this post. Just that day, in fact, one of the wisest people I know in the field of early parenting—Sally Tannen, the director of the 92Y’s Parenting Center—had told me how, when it comes to chatting with parents about school admissions, she puts a lot of emphasis on defusing the stress and on reassuring parents that everything will work out fine.
So knowing what I know as a parent and as an editor who has moderated a ton of admissions panels, I was concerned that the well-meaning list would inadvertently scare up more anxiety by making other parents feel like they were somehow behind. I was worried about the quality of the content (which was good). And, in truth, I was worried for the poster. More than 20 schools! No one needs to do that.
Better yet, start with our sensible and informed overview of the nursery school admissions process.
And for the rest of you with older children? Enjoy this issue, with nuggets of insight and joy from Randi Zuckerberg, on birthday planning, and much more.
Enjoy Spring,
Eric Messinger
Editor, [email protected]
