Mindfulness is the practice of focusing awareness on the present moment; it is being non-judgmental of our thoughts, both positive and negative, that are constantly in and out of our butterfly minds. Jon Kabat-Zinn is widely credited for bringing mindfulness in its secular form to mainstream society in the 90’s. Expanding its reach from Buddhist retreats and meditation centers, mindfulness is now making its presence felt across a broader spectrum.
There is a growing voice among experts that families would benefit greatly by integrating mindfulness into their day-to-day parenting. Besides improving overall health and well being, mindfulness can also teach our children to respond to difficult situations instead of reacting; a life skill that will stand them in good stead. Mindfulness teacher and neuroscience researcher at the NYU Langone Medical School, Ayman Mukerji Househam strongly agrees.
“A family living in a collective mindful state results in a harmonious, peaceful, and balanced life,” Househam says.
A mindfulness practitioner for the past twenty years, Househam shares five tips on how we can practice compassionate and mindful parenting, starting at home.
1. Establish your own daily mindfulness practice: Come up with five minutes a day to practice mindfulness. It could be a seated meditation first thing in the morning, before bedtime, or even while taking a shower. “The key”, Househam says, “is to focus on all your senses while observing your breath; accept your thoughts and let them go without judgment.”
2. Practice “special playtime” with your child: Carve out five minutes a day, at least five days a week, to play mindfully with each child in your family. Househam suggests using targeted praise for every little thing they do. She says, “This experience teaches us to accept our children for who they are.”
3. Practice self-love: Take every opportunity to have time to yourself. “Prioritize it, even when your plate is full,” Househam says. Learning to know and love ourselves allows us in turn to be less judgmental to our life situations.
4. Use empathy when others aren’t at their best: Everyone has bad days–our partners, kids, and us included. “When things heat up, put yourself in your family members’ shoes and accept the difficulties of that moment,” Househam says.
5. Use calm-down time: Techniques like deep breathing and creating personal space are good ways to get discomfort out of our systems. If you are outdoors or in public when your child has a tantrum, prioritize safety and then find a safe spot to help the child practice calming down. Househam urges us to not use this as a punishment, but “use it to teach the child self-regulation.”
To learn more, join Ayman Mukerji Househam for a family mindfulness workshop on November 13th from 3-4pm at the Rubin Museum of Art. The program is designed for children, ages two to seven, and ticket prices start at $10.
