A bottle of juice, a bottle of milk
How about a milkshake that’s smooth as silk?
I’ll meet you anytime you want
At a Manhattan Restaurant.
Dream: It’s dinnertime and I am oh so hungry. Who’s ready to hit the town? I quietly push open the front door, crawl into the elevator, push the button for lobby, and stand up to walk outside. The doorman nods as I head to my favorite restaurant just around the corner. Once there, I check in with the hostess and call Mommy and Daddy on my cell to join me. In the meantime, the wait staff secures a highchair for me and puts on my favorite tunes while I order a filet mignon medium rare with a side of creamed spinach and mashed potatoes…
Reality: It’s dinnertime and I’m a hungry baby who’s ready to eat. Mommy starts packing her diaper bag with all sorts of food paraphernalia, so I know we’re going out to eat. But she doesn’t ask where I want to go. Doesn’t she know I watch Food Network daily and read Zagat’s at bedtime?
We arrive at the restaurant and Mommy asks for a table for two and a half…well, two plus a baby. Hey! Last time I checked I’m an able-bodied citizen and we’re a party of three. Mommy requests a highchair, but the restaurant doesn’t have one. Why didn’t she just call ahead? Luckily, Mommy brought our portable one just in case. She’s forgiven!
After hooking the chair onto to the table and letting me take my throne, I barely notice as Mommy puts on my special eating necklace. I have them in all different colors and sizes and some even have a special pocket that catches the food that I drop when I’m too busy to care.
The waitress brings us three big glasses of water from the bar. I wave at the bartender to thank him. Since we have to wash our hands before we eat, I immediately sink my fingers in and splash around. I start pulling out the ice and throwing it when Mommy tries to take the glass away. What is she doing? I screech to protest and she holds the glass up to my mouth. Naturally, I open wide and the water goes down my throat like a waterfall. This is much more efficient than my sippy cup. Once my shirt and bib are saturated, Mommy gives me my sippy cup instead. Ha! I try to hand it to the guy next to me but he is busy talking to his date. Rats. His attention is proving difficult to get. I’m much cuter than his date anyhow.
When the waitress comes to take our order, Mommy and Daddy ask for a kiddie burger for me. Don’t they know how hungry I am? I’m growing in two directions and they’re only growing in one. Luckily, the waitress gets it and says their burgers are one-size-fits-all. I smile at her and she winks.
Something smells really good. I turn around to check out the grub being eaten behind me. Using the moves I learned at Yogi Beans, I stretch my toes to my nose and manage to get one leg out of the highchair, turn around 180 degrees, and smile at the nice people with food in front of them. As they smile back I reach out to grab for their plates. Mommy notices and shyly says something about me making friends everywhere I go before turning me back around. Doesn’t she know I need an appetizer?
By the time I’m halfway into my own burger, I get tired of it and move on to enjoy the tomato and pickle. There are so many interesting tastes and textures to all this food stuff. I love variety. It’s the spice of life. Well, at least once you’re allowed to eat solid food.
Now that I’m finished, I kindly tear off my bib and hand it to Mommy with a smile. (Parents should note that these Velcro bibs aren’t baby-proof!) I start clapping to applaud my fine eating performance. And guess what? The waitress claps with me. I clap louder with a bigger smile and another waiter starts clapping. Soon after, the whole wait staff is clapping along and chatting me up. I could be a well-liked regular here. I can already tell.
I wave bye-bye to the bartender who hooked me up with my big glass of water, give a high-five to the waitress who secured my big burger, and clap again for all the others. I think that covers everyone. I hear Mommy tell Daddy to make sure he tipped well for his tiny diner. This tiny diner gives the restaurant three stars and cannot wait to try something new again soon.
Elle Belle is a beautiful baby girl who lives in the Upper East Side of Manhattan with her magnificent mommy, dapper dad, and her five-year-old four-legged brother (who’s adopted). She can be reached [email protected] and found on tugsonmyheartstrings.blogspot.com
