5 Tips for Parents Coping with Sending a Child Off to College
One of the most exciting days in any child’s life is making the transition of going off to college and leaving the nest for the first time. While it may be exciting for kids, parents, on the other hand, have been sharing their struggles online, and it rings familiar for many if not all parents; there’s an overwhelming sense of anxiety and sadness having to watch your child head out into the world all on their own.
The feelings of anxiety and sadness are real and completely valid; it’s like, in the blink of an eye, they went from crawling to creating their schedule for their first semester of college. So, as a parent, how do you cope with these feelings without getting lost in them? We’re sharing a few tips on how to cope with the anxiety and sadness of sending your child off to college for the first time.
Psst… here’s an extra tip for podcast lovers: check out The Best Mental Health Podcasts for Parents 2024
Validate Your Feelings
It’s crucial to acknowledge and validate your feelings. This is a new kind of grief, a significant change in your life, and it’s okay to feel the way you do. Recognizing that this is a life-altering moment and allowing yourself to express those emotions will undoubtedly make the transition easier. It’s also important to remember that these feelings will take time to process and go through; most specialists say these feelings take a few months to process. So, if you’re still feeling these heavy feelings after a few months, remind yourself that it’s completely normal, and remember to let those feelings out when you can.
Plan Ahead
All parents know that planning is a skill that comes with the full-time job of taking care of another human being, so let’s face it: you’ve got planning down to an art form. So maybe with a little more free time, whether things have shifted because there are no more kids at home or you have one less person to plan for, it’s time to start adding some “me time” to the calendar.
Plan for the days when there may be lulls. Join a class, meet up with fellow moms, or schedule some time to sleep because who doesn’t need that nowadays? Make a plan that keeps your mind busy with things that fill your cup, and that could also mean scheduling phone calls with your freshman to check in, which brings us to our next tip.
Check-In with Your Freshman (they need it too)
While your first-year students may be excited and probably equally as anxious, they will need reassurance. Regular check-ins, even if scheduled, can help alleviate the anxieties everyone may be feeling. It’s also a great way to remind them that you’re always there for them despite the distance. Most parents and specialists agree that regular check-ins while respecting their time and schedule, can positively impact any new college student’s experience and will help any parent cope with this new life transition.
Stay Positive and Trust in Your Parenting
One of the things that parents may struggle with in this transition is wondering if you’ve prepared them enough for heading out on their own. A major tip is to remember that you’ve gotten them this far. You will always play a significant role in your child’s life, but this is just doing things in a new way that means they are living life more independently, thanks to the hard work you’ve put in along the way. You have prepared them for this and will continue to support them and help them prepare for all of life’s following chapters.
Speak Up and Seek Support
This transition and the feelings that come with it do not have to be worked through, processed, or even felt alone. It’s completely valid and real to feel anxiety and sadness in these moments, and because these feelings are a universal experience, it’s likely that your partner, fellow mom friend, or another member of your family could be feeling the same way and the best thing all families and parents can do is speak up and lean on your chosen community to help cope with these feelings.
Another great way to help get through this time is by reaching out to a therapist or speaking to your therapist about how you’re feeling if you already have one. Keeping these things pent up doesn’t help, and it could help to hear that you’re not alone in these feelings. Speaking to a therapist is always great because they can help alleviate these feelings while giving you steps that fit into your specific daily routine to help process your feelings.
While these are just a few tips, the biggest thing we want moms and parents in general to know is that you are not alone. These feelings are valid, and we hope you take the time to prioritize your self-care and mental health during this new and exciting chapter.
