If your children are attending a new school this fall and you’re worried about their ability to cope with the change, take heart: there’s a lot you can do — before that first bell rings — to help your child get acclimated.
That’s an important job, because we parents don’t have to worry about navigating a new lunchroom, or fear leaving lots of friends behind. Without a familiar face at the new school, some children may become apprehensive when September rolls around.
Kristan Kirsh — the senior marketing manager of Great Schools, a national organization whose website provides detailed information about more than 200,000 public and private schools, from preschool through high school — says that while some tips are common sense, parents often don’t think to employ them. And that would be a big mistake, because they could make a huge difference.
Tip one: Plan a tour
“With your child, take a tour of the school,” says Kirsh, who repeats the phrase with emphasis, because, she says, it’s critical for your child’s sense of familiarity. “It gives you a level of comfort, so that you know what to anticipate. And, if possible, while you’re on that tour, meet the teacher.”
OK, but it’s August, and the schools are closed! True, but some schools do maintain office hours (albeit limited ones) and will gladly allow you to visit. If not, you can also ask for a tour the day or two before classes begin in September, when office staff members have returned from their summer break. If worse comes to worst, you can still request a tour during the first week of school, as your child is still getting adjusted to his new surroundings.
Tip two: Check to see if the school has a Facebook page
“This will give you a sense of the culture of that school,” says Kirsh. And what’s more, a Facebook page — which she says many schools have these days — will often provide you with ways to contact other parents — a critical tool for your child’s self-confidence, because you can use it to connect your children with his schoolmates, before he even sets foot in the classroom.
“See if there’s a [Parent Teacher Association/Organization], and see if they’re able to give out any of the names of the parents, so you can connect with another parent or two,” says Kirsh. “And if they have kids the same ages as your children, see if they can meet up for a little pizza night. Or, have them over, so that the child could have an initial buddy. The fact that the child can have someone that they know in the school already is a tremendous anchor for them in those first couple months.”
If that doesn’t work, says Kirsh, Great Schools itself might be able to help.
“At Great Schools, we actually have a lot of the information, and you can connect with parents who might have already been on that school page, and you can reach out to any of them. We have our own community within each school. You can actually go on to greatschools.org and look up a particular school to find some of the [parent] communities that have already been active.”
That may be the best bet for parents of New York City public school students, since individual city schools may not have their own Facebook pages. But for parents new to the country’s largest school system, here’s another Internet resource: the Department of Education’s Office of Family Information and Action. And don’t underestimate the power of dialing 311. Education officials say 311 operators can often answer questions about city schools — including curriculum information!
Tip three: Check out extra-curricular activities
Some (like sports groups) may even start over the summer, so look into it now, and your child may make a friend or two before school starts. Even if nothing is happening until September, start investigating the various after-school activities that your child might be interested in, says Kirsh, because those activities will open even more social doors for the child, while enriching them at the same time.
Tip four: Make sure your child is placed in the appropriate academic program
With a move, sometimes paperwork can stray. Kirsh says it’s important to take time out (now!) to locate all academic records from the child’s previous school (report cards, progress reports, etc.) so that you can advocate for him academically.
“Your child might be placed at a level that he might not really be at,” explains Kirsh. “He might be performing higher in math or reading. Make sure the school has these records, so you can help place him properly, in a class where he would be challenged the most.”
Of course, some simple tips still apply for a successful back-to-school transition, whether it’s at a new school or not.
For example, re-establishing a routine is important. It can help kids feel less stressed out.
Kirsh says about two to three weeks before Labor Day, it’s important to start shifting that bedtime routine back to a more suitable one for school hours.
Set up a study space for kids, and make that space special.
“Put some pictures up, or do it with him,” Kirsh says. “Or have him create his OWN study space. It’s the anticipation. It goes a long way.”
Try to make the annual back-to-school ritual fun. Consider getting together with neighbors and friends for a “back to school night,” says Kirsh, where you relax and enjoy some time with your child’s schoolmates and their families. Some parents, she says, have started making this an annual gathering — because it gives kids a chance to anticipate a more positive association with school, allowing them to look forward to that first day back.
The bottom line, says Kirsh, is that while some of these tips might not be easy to implement, they are worth it. After all, a child who is well-equipped to handle new experiences may find it much easier to succeed — at any age, in any school.
Learn more
For more information about Great Schools, visit greatschools.org.
To reach the Office of Family Information and Action website, follow the Offices and Programs link on schools.nyc.org.
Monica Brown is a news anchor who lives on Staten Island with her husband and two children. She can be reached at monicaldbrown@gmail.com.
