8:30 AM
It’s a typical Sunday morning for the Mero family. Everyone scrambles to put on hats and gloves before heading outside. Dad Steven is changing the baby’s diaper while mom Susan redoes someone’s messy ponytail. “Who didn’t brush their teeth?” Steven yells from the bathroom. A chorus of “Not me!” resounds, and hands shoot into the air.
It’s a familiar family scenario, but in this case there is one small difference—well, several, actually. Instead of the average two-and-a-half kids bouncing around the apartment, Steven and Susan Mero have six. For an added kicker, all are girls. And for another added kicker, all are seven years old or younger.
From everyday families like the Meros to high-profile clans like Brangelina’s, big families are, well…big right now, at least in news and entertainment. But far from the covers of tabloids, many typical families around the country join together, Brady Bunch-style, as parents remarry. Others are turning to fertility treatments, leading to multiple births. Still others choose to build their families through domestic or international adoption. And some, like Steven and Susan Mero, simply want a big family and grow one the old-fashioned way.
Susan always knew she wanted a large family. “I remember saying to my mother when I was younger that I wanted a hundred children,” she recalls. But, like many modern women, she also longed for a career—she went to medical school and studied pediatrics before deciding to specialize in dermatology—and didn’t marry until her mid-30s. So when she and her husband, Steven, married nine months after meeting each other at a Jewish singles dinner, they started trying to get pregnant right away.
“I was 35, turning 36, and I knew that there could be bumps in the road, but I was determined to keep trying whatever it took,” she says.
Steven still seems a little awestruck. “I didn’t think it would happen,” he says. “You don’t have six kids in six years!”
The Meros don’t recommend such rapid family growth to everyone. But because they worried about their ability to have children as they got older, they rushed to keep having more. “After each pregnancy, I would go to the postpartum check-up, and I would say, ‘When am I allowed to get pregnant with the next one?’” Susan laughs. “They looked at me like I had two heads.” But she remained undeterred, and the Meros had six healthy and happy daughters: 7-year-old Ariella, 5-year-old Danielle, 4-year-old Gabrielle, 2-year-old twins Sarah and Rebecca, and 17-month-old Jaclyn.
9:00 AM
The family is finally out of their Upper West Side apartment, headed to Central Park’s Wollman Rink for skating lessons. Susan pushes the triple stroller with the three youngest inside. The older girls run alongside the stroller or hold Steven’s hands. Along the way, the family is peppered with remarks from passersby.
“My goodness—it’s a baby-mobile!” says a woman walking her dog.
“How do you get in an elevator with that?” asks an elderly man.
“She has a lot of babies,” says a little boy to his dad.
Steven and Susan are good-natured about the commentary. “The funniest reaction I used to get was when someone would ask, ‘How many kids do you have?’” Steven says. “I’d say ‘six,’ and they’d say ‘Wow! How old is the oldest?’ and I’d say ‘six.’ And they’d go, ‘No, no, the oldest.’ And I’d say, ‘Six!’”
Long after most eight-person families would have moved to the suburbs, the Meros much prefer the ordeal of packing the little ones into a stroller to dealing with six car seats. And, like many city parents, they cite the vibrant culture as an advantage of raising kids here. “In the summer, we go to the park, to the amazing playgrounds, and Susan takes them to the ballet,” Steven says. “If we didn’t live in the city, I don’t know that we’d do that.”
9:30 AM
Ariella is on the ice, and Steven has taken Danielle to a birthday party. Meanwhile, Susan has a dilemma. The triple stroller is parked by the ice rink and won’t budge; she locked the back wheels, and now they’re stuck in place. She manages to turn the stroller around and push it into a nearby building, wheels dragging stubbornly across the ground. A man comes over to help. All three babies have to come out of the stroller, so Susan straps Jaclyn on with the Baby Bjorn carrier and sets the twins on the floor. The man turns the stroller over, then thumps the lock hard enough to release the brakes. Susan laughs, swearing she will never lock the wheels again. With six young children, mini-crises happen daily, she says, but she and Steven have learned to take the hassles in stride.
“You know, I meet some people, and they’re so stressed with one child, and my husband and I say to ourselves, ‘Why are they so stressed?’” she says. “You learn to cope with things in a different way when the family is big.”
11:30 AM
Susan and five of the girls are back at the apartment, and Susan is preparing lunch. Soon, Steven and Danielle arrive home from the party. After lunch comes naptime. Susan begins cooking up a couple of dinners—spaghetti with meat sauce and homemade veggie burgers—one for tonight and one for later in the week.
The Meros go through about ten gallons of milk per week. Steven makes Costco runs on the weekends to buy diapers and baby wipes; the couple says there can be up to 1,000 diapers and 2,000 wipes in the house at a time. Susan orders clothes months in advance so there is no last-minute rush.
While Susan’s organization helps the couple manage their busy life, it doesn’t hurt that she and Steven work well as a team. Since Susan is usually up with the baby several times a night, Steven often takes the morning “shift,” getting the girls up, dressed and off to school.
On weekdays, the Meros welcome an additional team member—their babysitter. Besides taking care of the babies while the older girls are in school, she also cooks some evenings and, Susan adds, she does a beautiful job of fixing each girl’s hair. “She’s strict with the kids—they have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’” Susan says.
Having Anastasia around during the week allows both parents to work—Steven as an attorney working in taxes and estate planning, and Susan at her own Upper West Side dermatology practice (where she is known as Dr. Susan Ungar).
3:00 PM
By mid-afternoon, the girls are waking from their naps. Steven reads the newspaper on the couch. The apartment is quiet—much quieter than you might expect from a large, young family. Soon it will be time for dinner, baths and then a special treat: private time with Mom or Dad.
6:00 PM
During private time, each child picks an activity—often beads to make a bracelet with Mom, or a game to play or book to read with Dad. While this is an important time for the Meros, Susan says her favorite time is when everyone gathers around the dinner table for Shabbat on Friday nights. “We bless each child individually,” Susan says. “Sometimes the kids will put their hands on our head and want to give us a blessing. They’ll say, ‘Thank you for being a great mommy’ or ‘Thank you for being a great daddy’ or pray that we’re healthy. Those are some of my favorite moments.”
Steven agrees. “But the best thing about being a parent?” He turns to his oldest daughter. “Ariella, does Daddy love you?”
“Ken!” she says.
“That means ‘yes’ in Hebrew,” Steven explains. “Ariella, do you love Daddy?”
“Ken!”
“So it’s a lot of chaos, but it’s a lot of fun,” he says. “It’s a blessing.”
Steven and Susan Mero’s Tips For Busy City Parents
*We stock the house by shopping at Costco every 6 weeks. We have a Costco list saved on our computer that we print prior to a shopping trip and circle what we need.
*The morning rush can be stressful, so lay out clothes and pack knapsacks the night before. Sometimes I put out the cereal bowls the night before, and have the toothbrushes out and ready for toothpaste.
*Use bins for holding hats, gloves, shoes, etc. and teach your children to put items where they belong. We even have a bin for unmatched socks!
*Spend some time meal-planning for the week on Sunday. If there is an extra hour on Sunday, I make one or two suppers that I put in the freezer for days that are extra busy. I like to have ready-made fish sticks or veggie burgers for nights when I work late. Always keep frozen vegetables in the freezer in case you don’t have time to buy fresh.
*Make each child feel special. We have private time with each child, when they can play a game or read a book or do beading or whatever they like. They each take turns going on errands to the bank, drug store, etc., or just sitting on a park bench for a snack or to blow bubbles.
*Let one child at a time be the “leader” for the week. The leader gets to push the button in the elevator or on the bus—this way, there is no fighting over those things.
*Delegate when you can. If your babysitter can pick up the milk, let her. Each ten-minute errand you save is ten more minutes you have to read stories to your children.
*Jot down one or two things that must get done for each day. If your list is too long, don’t count on doing it all–prioritize what is most pressing.
*Give yourself down time, too. If the gym is your thing, then go—even if it’s just for 20 minutes, it will help you feel better later. Also, make time for date nights. You don’t need to go out for five hours at a clip, but spending some time as a couple on a regular basis is important.
