What Is Dating…When You’re A Sixth Grader?

It’s been a while since I last played Spin The Bottle,
but I still remember it well. Under the guise of playing a board game during an after-school program, a bunch of us sixth graders had taken over a far corner of
the school gym (where the mats were) and I had my first kiss with intent—shared
with Phyllis Goldbetter. These days my own sixth-grader will occasionally report
that one of her friends is dating so-and-so, and my wife and I are trying to
find out what dating means at an age when your parents still arrange most of
your free social time. —

Does dating mean they meet outside of school? That they i-Chat
every night? Is there kissing with intent? More? Oh, my: Does my daughter
“date” to? With all this in mind, I recently explored a new front in the
parent/sixth-grader info-sharing war.  

“Hey, Elena. Do you know what Spin The
Bottle is?” I wondered as innocuously as I could. 

She smiled coyly, seemingly a little hesitant to reveal what she knew but also kind of proud of
herself.

“Yes, but I don’t get it,” she confided after a long pause. “You can’t
decide who you kiss, and what if you don’t want to kiss the person you’re
supposed to kiss? It’s gross!” 

If that’s how she feels, who am I to object? I didn’t tell her about Phyllis
Goldbetter. 

—Eric Messinger

emessinger@manhattanmedia.com