Not too long ago, I read an article on a woman complaining that she couldn’t do anything alone anymore, because her kids were always there. When she wanted to read, they climbed onto her lap. When she drank her morning coffee, there they were. Even a trip to the bathroom was accompanied by her little ones. So, I had to laugh and sympathize, when recently, as I was taking a shower, I, too, was interrupted by some uninvited guests.
My shower has become my sacred, personal time of the day that I look forward to. For those 20 minutes, it’s my spa, my “me” time, and it should be mine alone. My husband knows this, because every time he decides to say “hello,” sneak a peek, or worse — shout questions to me from the kitchen about where something is — I get annoyed. And, yet, here they were — my husband, daughter, and pets — joining me in the bathroom while I took a shower and tried to get a little break.
First, my husband walked in, then my daughter. I looked at my husband, and said, “What, the animals are busy?” Then they came in, too; first the dog, then the cat. Everyone was in the bathroom while I was taking a shower. My daughter literally pulled up a chair and sat as if she were watching a show.
Jill Smokler’s new book, “Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies),” has received criticism from parents stating that she is complaining about being a mother and that she should’ve just “gotten a potted plant.” Harsh criticism for someone who is just telling it like it is? I think so. (However, I have not read the book.)
I remember a conversation I had with a fellow new mom a few months after I had Olivia. She was frustrated and felt guilty about being depressed with her new baby. I felt such relief hearing her say that. Fortunately, I didn’t go through postpartum depression, but I could certainly relate to feeling down at times. But most moms won’t talk about that. A tip that I found helpful from another mom, who confessed to feeling overwhelmed and stressed, was taking a timeout for herself. She would go into her bathroom and sit there for five minutes while she cooled off. It didn’t make her a bad mom, it helped her deal better with parenthood.
But what if your bathroom, like mine, lacks the privacy you need? Well, children have to sleep sometime. That’s usually when I pour myself a glass of wine (or apple juice, if we’re out of wine), try to relax, and sneak into her room to admire a beautiful sleeping baby.
