Is your son’s roughhousing and rude behavior making you cringe? There are things you can to do instill kindness, compassion, manners, and conviction to raise your son to become a gentleman.
Have you ever looked at your son and wondered where this loud, bath averse creature who constantly burps and passes gas came from? That former little prince, who could do no wrong in his first days of life, now has you wondering if any woman will ever have him. You are not alone.
Most moms have endured cringe-worthy moments with their sons, from rude behavior to general roughhousing. Fortunately, knowing the importance of raising a respectful, responsible, and confident young gentleman is the first step in making it a reality. The following tips will help you instill the manners, kindness, and mature behavior that will, ultimately, lead to more gentlemanly behavior in your boy.
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| By PhotoOp NYC |
Cultivate compassion.
True empathy is essential for building self-respect and respect for others. Gentlemen do not bully others and, additionally, they routinely stand up for their friends and those who need a voice. Talk through some situations with your son that would require him to advocate for another person or, at the very least, will put him in their shoes. This teaches him to consider another person’s point of view.
First, ask your son how he feels about a particular situation, and then ask him what he thinks the other person is feeling. Practice with your younger son by reading together and asking questions such as, “How do you think the boy in the book is feeling?” Engaging your son in the emotions of others will help to teach him empathy and compassion.
Instill independence.
In order for your son to have the confidence to be a gentleman in an un-gentlemanly world, he cannot be conditioned to follow the crowd instinctively. These behaviors become especially touchy when older preteens and teens engage in risky behaviors. Help your son develop strong roots and an identity with which he is confident in order to allow him to stand strong against peer pressure and become his best self.
Offer your son safe opportunities for decision-making so that he can learn from the outcome. Give him room within the family to become an independent and confident thinker. When the time comes, he will be much more likely to go positively against the crowd and bring others along with him.
Listen with love.
Being a good listener is essential to making and keeping friends at every stage of life. Model good attention and openness with your son by listening to what he has to say and making sure he listens when you speak to him. One way to accomplish this is by parroting back to him what you believe he is saying within a conversation and having him do the same. If one of you does not fully understand the other, be sure to allow the person who was talking the opportunity to clarify. Not only does this teach your son to be an effective listener, but it also teaches him to communicate effectively.
Model conviction.
As he grows, your little gentleman will learn that the world is full of opinions, and those opinions won’t necessarily jive with the family values that you have instilled in him. His beliefs will be challenged and he will come up against many who disagree with his opinions. Let him know that it is okay to respectfully disagree with someone’s perspective while having the self-confidence to stand up for what he believes.
Exorcise energy.
Boys have an extraordinary amount of energy, and giving your boy a physical outlet for all of that energy will help him use these powers for good and not evil. Find an appropriate activity that allows him to blow off steam based on his age and interests. Whether this comes in the form of an individual or team sport, long afternoons at the park, or a game of Tag with neighborhood friends, as he matures, your son will likely continue to find healthy ways to channel his energy so that it does not build up as stress. Help him form this good habit early in life.
Be generous.
Show your son that generosity is not always monetary. Perhaps his younger cousin could use some help with soccer drills or his dad needs a hand cleaning out the garage. Keep it simple but allow him to learn to be of service to others. This will give him a chance to feel pride in a good deed, and teach him how his time can mean more to someone than any amount of money ever could.
Examine your expectations by keeping your son’s age in mind. As he practices new behaviors and receives recognition for them, you will see him begin to enjoy the process. Start small and remember that, in teaching your son to be a gentleman, you are really working to make the road ahead smoother for him.
