I remember the first time I heard the word “play date.” I was in college at the time, and I remember thinking to myself, “What’s a play date? And since when did kids start needing play dates?” And then I immediately dismissed it as yet another fad among modern moms. It’s amazing how judgmental we can be about parenting until we become parents ourselves.
Well, it took me more than a few years to become a parent. I became a mom of triplets and made the decision that I would stay home full time with my children. After just one year at home, I learned quickly that play dates was not just another “thing to do,” for moms, but rather a vital lifeline for new moms, stay-at-home moms, and pretty much every type of mom.
I attended nearly every mommy-and-me class known to man when my kids were infants, but I didn’t begin to establish real connections to other moms until I attended my very first play date. Through play dates, I made real mommy friends that made me a happier and more confident mom and also provided me with great information about preschools, toddler activities, enrichment programs, toys, and even ideas for date night!
When my kids started preschool, though, I learned about another important benefit of play dates — how vital they are for our children’s development. According to experts, kids learn many important skills through play dates — like sharing and turn taking, conflict resolution, and how to get along with others — all skills that will aid them in school and throughout life.
Admittedly, I didn’t always have my kids go on play dates, because over time, I started thinking I was too busy for them or that my children didn’t need them as much as other kids did, because they had each other. After a few weeks of regular play dates, I saw that the triplets not only needed them as much as other kids, but also how much they benefitted from them. After a play date, my children seemed happier, more confident, talked more, played more, and even ate more. (If you’re a parent of a picky eater, you know how big this is!) The best part about play dates is that they are a lot cheaper than yet another toddler enrichment program. In fact, the only things we need as parents to make a play date happen for our kids is our willingness, our energy, and our time.
Five tips for your next playdate
• Don’t wait for other parents to invite you to a play date. Ask other parents. Someone will say “yes.”
• Be flexible as to the location of the play date, whether it’s your place, their place, or in a public place. Parents are more likely to say “yes” to you if they have options.
• If you’re hosting, have snacks handy for your child and for other children. If your child is over 3, encourage him to share his snacks with his friends. It will teach him about generosity, enhance his communication skills and help him to make a new friend.
• If you have more than one child, like I do, try to schedule some one-on-one play dates, so your child will learn to engage others beyond her siblings and really play!
• Don’t hover over your child during a play date, but be present. Watching your child play with another child will help you assess areas of your child’s personality that might need attention like his ability to play, share, communicate with friends, or get along with others.
Notoya Green is a parenting expert and former family law attorney. You can read her blog at www.tripletsintribeca.com. You can also follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/tripletsintribeca and on Twitter @NotoyaG.
