The idea of having “mommy brain” was always one that made me wince as if in pain. Why would becoming a parent mean I suddenly couldn’t remember to do basic things? Cartoonish images of squirting contact solution onto my toothbrush and face wash on my scalp just didn’t compute for me. No matter how tired I’ve been in the past, I never forgot how to take a shower or get ready for the day.
Well, like most other new parent clichés, I’ve found myself fulfilling that apparent destiny of becoming a bumbling mom who can barely get her pants on before stumbling out the door with a 6-month-old while wearing mismatched socks and an unseasonably warm, spit-up-stained sweater. I think it’s more than just the lack of sleep though; it’s also being in a constant state of distraction. A parent’s mind is never on just one thing—eating breakfast, for instance. There’s the lingering fear that your little one is always on the verge of hurting him or herself (“Take smaller bites!” “Careful near the coffee table!” “Watch out for the dog!” “That board book has sharp corners!”), the constant calculations being made between nap and feeding times to make sure the little peanut is never overtired or underfed, and the nagging thoughts about a growing to-do list filled with bills, deadlines, and unanswered emails. Granted, the last part is true of almost any adult, but it becomes magnified when you have a baby—even if you don’t host social media accounts for the tiny sprite.
This all means that I’ve forgotten to do more than just brush my teeth properly in the morning. Here’s a list of some tasks that completely slipped my mind over the past six months:
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1. Buying my husband a birthday card: We’re usually very sentimental when it comes to cards—celebrating everything from our dog’s birthday to joke anniversaries. This year though, I completely fell off the wagon. I remembered to say “happy birthday” to my hubby, but I was woefully empty handed.
2. Bringing the diaper bag to story time: This happened on the one day my baby had a blowout poop. Impeccable timing!
3. Taking my wallet food shopping: Turns out, the grocery store doesn’t take IOUs. It’s extra fun when I realize I’ve forgotten my credit card at home after filling my cart.
4. Paying bills on time: Forgetting to pay a bill by its due date was a big no-no in my book before baby came. Now I understand why parents sign up for automatic bill pay.
5. Picking up a to-go pizza order: FYI, the pizza guys will call when they’re closing shop so you can dash out the door for a cold slice.
6. Giving my dog her anxiety pills: There’s no greater mom guilt than forgetting my pooch’s Prozac-wrapped-in-cheese.
7. Calling my mother back mere seconds after speaking with her: Sorry, Grandma. Baby’s demands for my attention made me do it.
8. Texting any non-mom friends: Checking in to find out what’s going on in the lives of my old friends is now considered a luxury. But furiously typing to all my pals who’ve dealt with teething and sleep training is a daily necessity.
Whitney C. Harris is a freelance writer living in Westchester, NY. She had her first child, a daughter named Rowan, last summer. Find her at whitneycharris.com.
