How can I raise my children to have strong bonds with their friends without the negative consequences of peer pressure?
A healthy part of every adolescent’s development is involvement with his or her classmates and friends. Yet, mention the words “peer pressure” and many parents cringe.
The fact is, peer pressure can be extremely positive. Friends provide teenagers with a source of affection, sympathy and understanding, a sounding board on which to test their ideas, and a standard by which to judge their own physical and psychological growth.
More often than not, peers reinforce family values.
Of course, peers also have the potential to encourage problematic behaviors in adolescents. So what can parents do to prevent their children from falling under the influence of a negative peer group?
Much of the work involved in helping your children reject negative peer pressure begins in early childhood. You need to create strong bonds with your children before they reach adolescence. The strength of a child’s relationship with his or her family can directly impact the degree to which peer pressure will be a productive or destructive influence in his or her life. It is important to always keep the lines of communication open between you and your children.
Help your children build self-esteem, develop decision-making abilities and teach them to be assertive and stand up for their own beliefs. Disciplining your children is important, too, as it shows them that you care enough to keep them safe. It also teaches your children to control themselves so they can say “no” to negative peer pressure.
Adolescents need a sense of community, not only among their peers but also among the adults in their lives. Parents should continue to send strong messages about learning and schoolwork. You should also actively monitor your children’s friends and help them find positive peer groups by steering them towards constructive group activities such as band, community service and school clubs.
