December is supposed to be a time of celebration. There are endless holiday parties, presents, and excitement in the air.
For many families, it ends up feeling like chaos, endless stress, and increased frustration. There are too many desserts, so your kids are bouncing off the walls. Family gatherings just stress you out, because everyone has an opinion about your parenting.
Do the holidays different this year. Come armed with a behavior toolkit to put the happy back into your holidays.
Here is what goes into your toolkit:
Some honey
Not literal honey, figurative honey. Did you know that you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar?
Every morning, before your family runs in different directions all over the city, tell everyone why you love them. Do it individually and specifically.
To your daughter, say, “I love you, because you got dressed the first time I asked you today.” To your son, say, “I love you, because you tell amazing jokes.” To your partner say, “I love you, because you made the coffee this morning.”
Show up prepared to speak with purpose
If you know your family will comment on your parenting, think of a few responses that you can quickly use in a pinch, like, “Thank you. I see how much you care” or “Hmm, that is an interesting perspective.”
It may be new for you to just say “thank you” to criticism. It does not mean you will take their advice. It does not mean you agree with their advice. It just means that you are not going to argue with them about your parenting.
Be proactive within your immediate family
When changes happen to your normal routine, talk to your kids about it. Share with them what is happening before they ask you about it. If there is a different set of rules for a night (later bedtime or more screen time), let them know that it is happening and that it is a treat. Transparency is key to successful parenting.
Know the power
of your actions
There is a reason in Hollywood they say, “Ready, Set, Action.”
It is the action where the magic happens. What you do is the special ingredient in your toolkit that brings everything together.
Your kids are watching your moves and learning from your actions. Your family members are, too. Whatever you say is going to happen, make sure it does. If you tell your little ones you will be there in five minutes, make sure you go. If you say you will play a game together, get that game started right away. Actions are where listening skills are built, especially during super busy holiday times.
Now you are all set to have Happy Holidays!
Looking for more tips like this? Get Dr. Marcie’s new book “Love Your Family Again,” available on Amazon. Dr. Marcie Beigel is an international speaker and trainer of behavior. She brings realistic ideas to real life behavior that results in lasting change for families, schools, businesses, and relationships. Since 1998, she has worked with more than 5,867 people and is the founder of Behavior and Beyond, a company dedicated to behavior change. She teaches Behavior Boot Camps and Boosts as live events and online, does educational trainings, and consults individuals.
Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavior specialist based in Brooklyn with more than 20 years of experience. Her book “Love Your Classroom Again” is a bestseller. Find out more at DrMar
