Now that my daughter is 7-months-old and I’m past those foggy first few months, I can look back at the time right after my daughter’s birth with a bit more clarity. The day I became a parent was by far the best day of my life, but it was also a huge life adjustment–and one I wasn’t quite prepared for Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned so far about being a new mom that I hope will make life easier for other moms-to-be out there!
Get out of the house every day. Before becoming a mom, I was the kind of person who never liked staying inside for long: I was always out and about. I gave birth on December 13th though, so the thought of going out into the freezing cold with my newborn wasn’t too appealing. Not to mention, it’s pretty easy to stay in your sweats all day and not leave the house after having a baby. While on maternity leave, my two goals for each day became simple: shower and get out of the apartment. Whether it was a walk in the park, a trip to the grocery store or just going to Duane Reade (you always need something from Duane Reade!), getting out of the house made me feel part of society again. Plus, bundling up a newborn in between naps and feedings and getting oneself dressed when you’ve recently given birth are accomplishments in and of themselves!
Join a new moms group. Growing up in the New York area, I have a lot of friends nearby–many with kids. But joining a new moms group where all the women gave birth within weeks or months of each other has been invaluable. We are all going through the same challenges together, allowing us to swap tales and trade advice on everything from sleep methods to how much to feed our baby. It has helped make these first months a lot easier. I continue to get together with my moms group for play dates, as well as without our babies for that much needed glass of wine!
Narrow down your to-do list: you won’t have as much free time as you think! This is how naive I was about the amount of time I would have as a new mom: the thought of having four months “off” from work sounded like the kind of break I hadn’t had since college. For two years, I had been trying to get into the NYC half-marathon. And of course, I got in this year. The race took place in March, which was three months after I gave birth. Before becoming a mom, I thought, “No problem! I’ll be on maternity leave with my running stroller–plenty of time to train.” What was I thinking? First off, my back hurt for about eight weeks after giving birth. And while I did manage to put my daughter down for a nap in the stroller and bring her down to my apartment building’s gym for a workout when I was feeling better, there wasn’t time to train for a 13-mile run! Another friend of mine also thought she would have a lot of time on her hands upon becoming a mom. She told our new moms group that she had bought tons of yarn during her pregnancy for all the knitting she’d be doing post-baby. I’m pretty sure that yarn is still in its bag.
Have everything you need right by your side while breastfeeding. When your baby is hungry, she is hungry. There is no time to grab that magazine, iPhone or glass of water (trust me, you will be extremely thirsty). And while you will want to bond with your baby and enjoy that special time together, if you are nursing every two hours, you are also going to want to maximize this “down time” to catch up on text messages or do some mindless magazine reading. So, my advice is: have those things near your bed, couch or designated nursing area already (along with your Boppy pillow), because when that hunger cry comes, there is no time to waste and you’ll be tied to your seat for a while!
Take help when it’s offered. If you are a type-A personality like me, it’s hard to admit when you could use help. But if you have a friend coming by to see the baby and she asks if she can pick up anything for you, let her. Or if your mother-in -law offers to watch the baby while you and your husband go down the block for dinner, go! It isn’t easy taking care of your baby’s every need, so when someone is trying to do something nice for you and offering to help you out, do yourself a favor and let them.
