When my oldest daughter was in fifth grade, she started asking about cellphones. Evidently, some of her friends had recently acquired a cellphone of their own.
My first reaction was to assume that their parents were crazy and were simply giving in to the wants of a spoiled tween. Why did a fifth-grader need a cellphone?
According to a report for the National Consumer League, conducted by Opinion Research Corporation International in 2012, nearly six out of 10 parents of tweens (ages 8 to 12) got cellphones for their children. Thankfully, the majority of the parents did not take their decision lightly. The report showed that parents take the steps to phone ownership slowly by reading articles, talking with other parents, and comparing cellular service before taking the plunge. The result was a better understanding of the benefits of buying a cellphone for their tween.
• Peace of mind. The most obvious reason to get a cellphone for your tween is the security of being able to reach her when she is not at home. Many middle-school kids take a bus to school for the first time and prefer to walk to the bus stop alone. As your children get older, their activity level increases, taking them away from home more often. It is a comfort to a parent to know that she can call her children to see if they arrived safely, or to tell them of a change of plans to pick them up.
• Comfort for your child. It is reassuring for parents to be able to reach their children, but the kids also feel more secure. Your tween is trying to spread her wings and gain a little independence, but she still finds comfort in the fact that her parents are a phone call away. When my son — my youngest child — got a phone, he felt better knowing that if he didn’t see me the moment practice got out, he could call to see if I was on my way. He could also call to ask for permission to go home with a friend after school, knowing I would worry if I didn’t see him by 3:45 pm.
• A way to communicate with friends. A cellphone is very handy to use as a phone, but most of the communication from your child’s phone will be in the form of texting.
“We got our son a cellphone for safety reasons first, but also because using technology to communicate, learn, and play has become the way of the world,” explains Tamara Ortegel, a mother of three.
Unlike our generation, our children don’t have to wait in line to use the kitchen phone to get the math assignment from a friend. Your tweens can simply send their friends a text. As a parent, you can monitor who they are texting by sporadically checking the old messages, or when the phone is left in the charger at night.
• Teaches responsibility. Having a cellphone gives your tween the chance to try a little responsibility. Letting your child out the door with her cellphone does not guarantee that it will come back in working condition, or at all. Tell your tween that she get one phone and she has to take care of it. My oldest child is notorious for losing and breaking her phone, but I refuse to carry insurance on it. Her punishment for irresponsibility was to use grandma’s old phone with the antenna and no key board.
• Strengthen relationships with family. One of the benefits that you may not expect is better communication with the extended family. Lisa Yore, a mother of four, believes her son has become more connected to family members.
“My son has the phone numbers of aunts, uncles, and his grandmother. They have had conversations and told him that if he ever needs to talk or needs anything, he shouldn’t hesitate to call them.”
Getting a simple, “Good luck at your game” text from Grandma tells the kids that she is thinking of them.
• Save money. With the addition of cellphones in your house, your landline will become obsolete.
“We got Jack a phone because we switched our TV and internet provider and got rid of the land line because no one used it except him,” explains Stacy Bella, a mother of four. “His sisters all had cellphones and it was cheaper to do that than it was to keep the land line.”
With the addition of each new cellphone in the house, the few calls that come into your home phone are telemarketers. To balance the increasing cellphone bill, many eliminate their landline completely.
As the parent, it is up to you to set the rules regarding limits and expectations. Teach your tween about the responsibility that goes with owning a phone, and explain the repercussions for losing or damaging it. Above all, remind your tween that having a phone is not a right, it is a privilege.
Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mother of busy a teenager and two active tweens. Their activities often keep them away from home, but it is a comfort to all to know that they are only a phone call (or text) away.
