Over the past year, Judith Landing has found herself pulled in two directions. When the Pelham resident wasn’t caring for her two-year old son, her time was spent meeting the needs of her 87-year old father, Joseph. After being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease a year earlier, Joseph had moved in with Landing and her husband. The decline of her father’s health was unexpected and like most people, Landing and her husband did not have a plan in place. And so without warning, Landing’s caretaking responsibilities doubled and seemingly overnight she became part of the ‘Sandwich Generation’, those individuals who are ‘sandwiched’ between caring for young children and aging parents. For a while Landing managed a fulltime job, relying on her son’s babysitter to keep an eye on her father. But her father required more than just a watchful eye; he was depressed and needed much more stimulation and socialization than he was getting. (Recent studies have shown that older people who socialize can actually protect themselves from further mental decline). Eventually, Landing quit her job so she could channel her energies into her family. Mary Bargellini, a resident of Chappaqua and mother of 9- and 13-year-old girls, found herself in a similar situation when both of her parents became ill several years ago. Until recently, Bargellini helped to care for her mother, who suffers from a variety of physical ailments, and for her father, who has dementia. At the same time, Mary was pursuing a career and raising her daughters. There were days she would race to tend to her mother and then rush to take her father to the doctor. On really stressful days, she might get a call from school to say that one of her girls was sick. She found that she often had to depend on neighbors for help. Both Landing and Bargellini began to research adult care options. Like thousands of others in their situations, both found a solution in adult day services. Adult day services are community-based group programs designed to meet the needs of frail or healthy older adults. These comprehensive programs provide a variety of health, social, and other related support services in a protective setting during any part of a day, but less than 24-hour care. Most centers operate programs during normal business hours five days a week, but some offer services evenings and weekends as well. According to the National Adult Day Services Association (NADSA), there are more than 4,000 community-based adult day centers in the United States. Each week, Landing’s and Bargellini’s fathers attend Club Wartburg, a local adult day services program run by the Wartburg Adult Care Community in Mount Vernon. (Bargellini has hired a home health aide to tend to her mother). Here, they enjoy social activities, singing, crafts, nutritious meals, and constant attention from trained staff. A former member of the Knights of Columbus, Landing’s father says that he now feels he belongs to something again. Adult day programs also offer an important break for caregivers. When a person is caring for an aging loved one, a few hours of free time each day can help prevent stress, burnout, and depression. With the help of adult day services, many caregivers are able to keep their aging family member at home. Now Landing can spend time with her baby, run errands and do what needs to be done knowing that her father is in a caring environment, enjoying activities, and being properly and attentively taken care of. Bargellini also found peace of mind. “I know my dad’s OK and receiving the care he needs,” she says.
Resources • For more information about adult day services, visit the National Adult Day Services Association, Inc. at www.nadsa.org or call (866) 890-7357. • For information about caregiving, visit the Family Caregiver Alliance website at www.caregiver.org or The National Family Caregivers Association at www.nfcares.org, or call 1-800-896-3650. • Visit the New York State Office for the Aging website at www.aging.state.ny.us/. • The Wartburg Adult Care Community is at (914) 699-0800 or www.wartburg.org.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF If you are one of the many people caught in the Sandwich Generation, the following tips will help to keep you mentally and physically healthy: • Have regular physical check-ups, eat well and get enough sleep. • Join a support group to deal with feelings of anger, frustration, sadness or guilt. • Keep lines of communication open with other family members. • Be realistic about what you can do and get help with what you can’t. • Make sure the family doctor is one who is willing to listen and make suggestions for support. • Seek out information about your loved one’s condition. Knowing as much as you can about symptoms, rehabilitation, the likelihood of improvement, etc., will help you set realistic goals. • Hang on to your sense of self and continue your regular activities as much as possible; don’t be afraid to take advantage of respite care so that you can have a night out or weekend away. • Take one day at a time, but don’t neglect to plan for the future. This can include getting a power of attorney, accessing community care early, and filling out placement papers. • Be flexible and patient — it might take a while to locate the right care program or living arrangements. • Your loved one is a treasure trove of family history and stories – encourage children and other family members to ask questions and even record conversations to preserve memories.
SIDEBAR 2
What do you need to know when you begin researching adult day programs? The following guide from the National Adult Day Services Association will help you in your search:
1. Determine your needs What specific services are important to the older person? • A safe, secure environment? • Social activities? • Assistance with eating, walking, toileting, medicines? • Therapies — physical, speech, occupational? • Health monitoring — blood pressures, food or liquid intake, weight? • Nutritious meals & snacks? • Special diet? • Exercise? • Mental stimulation? • Personal care — bathing, shampoos, shaving? What do you, the caregiver, need? • Occasional free time? • Coverage while working? • Transportation? • Support? • Assistance in planning for care? 2. Find adult day centers For names and phone numbers of local adult day centers, try: • Department of Senior Programs and Services, 9 South First Avenue, 10th Floor, Mt. Vernon (914) 813-6442, www.Westchestergov.com • Yellow Pages (“Adult Day Care”; “Aging Services”; “Senior Citizens’ Services”, etc.) • A senior center • Your family doctor 3. Call first Call adult day centers and ask for a flier or brochure, eligibility criteria, monthly activity calendar, monthly menu and application procedures. 4. Know what to ask Look for the following information in the material received: • Owner or sponsoring agency • Years of operation • License or certification • Hours and days of operation • Transportation options • Hourly or daily charge, other charges, financial assistance • Conditions accepted, such as memory loss, limited mobility, incontinence • Staff credentials • Number of staff per participant • Activities provided: Is there variety and choice of individual and group activities? • Menu appeal and balance 5. Pay a visit: After reviewing materials, make an appointment to visit two or more centers that might meet your needs. The following list will help you decide which is right for you. SITE VISIT CHECKLIST Answer YES or No to the following: —Did you feel welcomed? —Did someone spend time finding out what you want and need? —Did someone clearly explain what services and activities the center provides? —Did someone present information about staffing, program procedures, costs and what is expected of caregivers? —Was the facility clean, pleasant and free of odor? —Were the building and the rooms wheelchair accessible? —Was there sturdy, comfortable furniture? —Loungers for relaxation? Chairs with arms? —Is there a quiet place for conferences? —Is there a place to isolate sick people? —Did you see cheerful faces on staff and participants? —Do volunteers help? —Are participants involved in planning activities or making other suggestions? 6. Check references Talk to two or three people who have used the center. 7. Try it out Select a day center. Try it for three to five days. It sometimes takes several visits for new participants to feel comfortable in a new setting and with a new routine. If you have questions or are experiencing problems, ask for a conference. Staff may have suggestions to make the transition easier both at home and at the center. 8. Take care of yourself Relax. Your loved one is being well cared for. Remember, your loved one may not be able to recall all the activities enjoyed during the day. The staff will gladly provide the missing details. The day center staff is there for you, too. Ask for: • Tips to make caregiving easier • Additional resources available in the community
DONNA SANGI-VALLARIO is director of Club Wartburg Adult Day Services, part of The Wartburg Adult Care Community in Mt. Vernon. Founded in 1866, The Wartburg Adult Care Community provides a full range of residential options and health-related services for older area residents and their families. For more information, call (914) 699-0800, or visit www.thewartburg.org.
