Hello Mr. Sun! Parents are starting to head outdoors and hit the park with their little ones on a regular basis. Thankfully, a simple sandbox offers children the unique opportunity to create their own world within a controlled environment. However, proper sandbox etiquette (yes, there is such a thing) can be tricky to impart to most sandbox residents, especially since its members tend to be on the younger side. But, if taught at an early age, sandbox decorum can make sand-play fun rather than frenzied for both children and their parents. Here are some guidelines from the experts for stress-free sandbox sessions: —
The 4-1-1 on Germs
Faye Rogaski: The main concern with outdoor sandbox cleanliness is the possibility that they might contain animal or rodent droppings. Before settling your child in the box, set the ground rules. Wash or sanitize hands after playing with the sand, no eating sand and no food or drink. Also, as sweet as our pets are, they don’t belong in a sandbox.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick: Children shouldn’t go in with dirty diapers; they shouldn’t eat in the sandbox and no pets in the sandbox! Parents should be vigilant. If their children are sick they shouldn’t play in the sandbox.
Wendy Levey: Carry healthy wipes with you to wipe your child’s hands when they leave and make sure that it’s healthy for the next child using the sandbox.
Appropriate Sandbox Age
Faye Rogaski: Look at how your child is playing in the sandbox. Does he/she respect fellow sandbox friends, follow the sandbox rules you set forth, and play nicely? Once you can say “yes” to these questions, your child is free to roam the box on his/her own.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick: They shouldn’t be in the sandbox if they are crawling, but at two-years-old they can certainly be in the sandbox.
Wendy Levey: From three-years-old on up—when they’re not parallel playing anymore. It works better for them to play with other children, particularly if you bring fun toys that they can share like sifters or a truck.
Supervise Your Child
Faye Rogaski: Playing with your child in the sandbox is fine, particularly in the younger years. However, the purpose of the sandbox is to lend your child the opportunity to interact socially with peers and it’s a place where he/she can learn valuable life lessons. That said, if your child is having separation issues, stay close by until he/she feels comfortable enough with the other children.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick: Inside the sandbox is where the children and toys belong. If children are in the sandbox, a parent/nanny should be close by.
Wendy Levey: Some children don’t like the feel of sand and the way to get them to play with it is for the parent or caregiver to participate in the activity. But by and large, it’s a really nice social activity without an adult.
If A Child Starts To Throw Sand…
Faye Rogaski: If you see your child about to get hit, attempt to initiate a calm dialogue with the other child and see where that goes. If the problem persists I recommend moving your own child, rather than the problematic child. Make sure to mention the problem to that child’s parent/guardian. Remember to follow the adage: “If you see something, say something!” If your child’s toy is taken, explain that sharing is an important part of playing in the sandbox. If you see your child take someone else’s toy, ask the parent if it’s ok for your child to play with that toy for a while. It’s never too young to encourage sharing.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick: The first thing you always do is alert their guardian, whether it’s the parent or nanny or babysitter. If they’re not close enough to stop the fight, then you should stop it. If your child gets hurt, it’s bad for both you and the other parent. A parent’s worst nightmare is your child getting hit by another child with a toy. It’s better to take soft-edged toys to the sandbox. If they do take toys away from each other, that’s just part of learning to play together. Children should be taught to share their toys. That’s a hard concept for them to learn when they’re very young, but around two or three they can certainly learn that we share.
Wendy Levey: I don’t think anybody likes to see their child clobbered, so I think you have to step in before stitches, not after! It’s important to say to a child, “If we’re going to play in the sandbox, then you need to be a good friend, otherwise you can’t play in the sandbox.” That’s one of the great things about a sandbox. Children learn how to play with another child in a fairly safe place.
Faye Rogaski is the founder of socialsklz :-) tools to thrive in the modern world, adjunct professor in the department of media, culture and communications at NYU, and a regular guest on the Today Show. For more information, visit socialsklz.com.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick is the founder/director of The Etiquette School of New York. For more information, visit etiquette-ny.com.
Wendy Levey is the director of Epiphany Community Nursery School on the Upper East Side. For more information, visit ecns.org.
