As a mother of two children (one of whom is on the cusp of being potty trained!), I’ve recently become something of a parenting expert to my friends who are just starting their families. I actually find it pretty hilarious that 33 months of experience qualifies me to provide nuggets of wisdom to anyone. However, I can understand that to a new mom, anyone who has made it past the first year could be considered a veteran.
While I don’t think there is any secret to being a good mother, I do believe that there are some pretty universal lessons that can help you be the absolute best mother to your children you can be–which, in my opinion, is good enough. My advice boils down to the following:
Trust your gut. There are times when it’s necessary to seek advice from your pediatrician or other experts, but don’t discount the power of your own maternal instinct. Stop worrying about not being good enough or smart enough to figure things out. Every child is different, and part of the fun is working together to find your mommy-baby groove. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll learn to discern your baby’s various cries. Besides, moms have been doing their jobs long before WebMD!
Put yourself first sometimes. As new moms, we have a tendency to lose ourselves in our new roles. However, it’s important to take care of yourself and hold onto as much of who you were before baby as possible. Work with your partner to make sure you have time for healthy meals, adequate rest and exercise whenever possible. You’ll be surprised at what a difference a warm shower or a quick nap can make to your mood.
Make other mom friends. Spending your days with a person who communicates in a series of grunts and cries can feel like being trapped on a lonely island. Scope the playground, library and Mommy & Me classes for moms with kids around the same ages as yours. Taking a walk or sharing a cup of coffee with someone who knows exactly what you’re going through can help keep everything in perspective.
Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to call on your partner, friends and family members when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Let others help out with housework and errands so you can rest or spend time with your baby.
Live in the moment. As parents, we often find ourselves living for the next stage of our kids’ lives. We can’t wait for our babies to start crawling, walking, talking or using the potty–only to find that each stage comes with its own set of challenges. Enjoy every single moment of being a mom, because the time really does fly. Take lots of pictures, and start a collage or scrapbook of your baby’s firsts. One day, that puke on your favorite sweater will be funny. (Disclaimer: I just had this revelation last week!)
