Dear Twins,
The older woman in the apartment next door has taken an interest in my 6-year-old son. She always offers to babysit him for free, and because I’m a single mom, this saves me a lot of money and makes my life easier. The problem is, she wants to see my son all the time. She offers him treats and gifts just to come over, even when I’m home. But this incident that happened the other day has really disturbed me: My son was waiting outside the apartment and I heard the woman call him over to say hello. I then saw her take my son’s face in her hands and kiss him, but the kiss was on the mouth and uncomfortably too long, at least it felt that way to me. Lately, I’ve noticed my son seems a little withdrawn. Do you think I’m overreacting or is this something to worry about?— Worried Mom
Kerry says: You should be worried. This woman seems to have taken a very unhealthy and unnatural interest in your son. In fact, it may very well have gone too far, and I’m not being an alarmist. The fact that your son has been withdrawn is not a good sign; neither is the fact that she has inappropriately caressed your son. And while most pedophiles are men, there are many female sex offenders, too. It is not worth taking any risks trying to save money on a sitter (even if others in the building vouch for her), so stop all contact with her immediately; and don’t care if it offends her. Then, get your child to a child psychologist to see if there has been greater damage and, if so, to provide help. I hope your worries are in vain, but I would not take any chances on your child’s well-being.
Jacqueline says: People don’t kiss other people’s children on the mouth. There’s no gray area here. It’s disconcerting that you are actually still sitting on the fence with this. Take Kerry’s advice and stop all contact with her and entrust in a child psychologist to make sure no more damage was done.
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Dear Twins,
My 6-year-old daughter loves to get her fingernails painted. The problem is, now my 3-year-old son wants his fingernails painted like his sister! I tell him no and he cries and looks hurt. I try to explain that fingernail painting is for girls and if he wants a special treat I’ll give him a boy treats, like a baseball cap or a toy truck, but he just isn’t interested. I’m sick over this. Do you think he might turn out gay, or, yet, a cross dresser. What should I do?
— Full of Angst
Jacqueline says: There isn’t much you can do to prevent your son from being gay, or a cross dresser, for that matter. Discouraging him from polishing his nails isn’t going to change a thing. What’s more important is that he knows you’ll love him either way.
Kerry says: I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. He’s 3, for goodness sake. Paint his darn fingernails.
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Dear Twins,
My husband and I have full-time jobs, and our 13- and 14-year-old daughters are in school, which keeps them pretty busy. However, they get home several hours before we do each day, but because they are quite mature for their ages, we feel that they can take care of themselves until we arrive home around suppertime. The problem is, our neighbors — who live in the same building, on the same floor — have two worthless sons, ages 17 and 18, who prey on our daughters when we’re not around. Our girls are terrified of them, and yesterday when our girls were entering our apartment, the boys tried to push their way in! We were furious, and went to see the parents, but, of course, they denied it. When we threatened to call the police, we find out their father is a policeman! The parents became just as rude as their children! Any recommendations?— Furious Family
Kerry says: It doesn’t matter who the father is if his sons are breaking and entering. Fact is, it’s against the law and the girls should have dialed 911 and had them arrested. You say you’ve already tried speaking to the parents but they dismissed you. Then, without hesitation, if these boys harass or go anywhere near your daughters again, dial the police. Having to face the police will intimidate the heck out of them, not to mention the humiliation it will cause the father, who is in the same brotherhood. If the police don’t scare them off, their father sure will.
Jacqueline says: When 17- and 18-year-old males push their way into females’ apartments, they are not looking to chat. They are dangerous and want something from your young daughters. What does their father being a policeman have to do with this? When your daughters are raped will it matter? Let the ignorant father get embarrassed by his sons’ behavior and report this incident at once to the police. I doubt the sons will as much as even look at your daughters again.
