Many families have a list of tasks that need to be done each day — or week — by children. I can’t remember specific chores I had to do as a child. What I do remember is my parents asked me to do things, and I did them.
Many of the things I did could have been considered chores, but my parents never called them that. We had a family mentality that we all took care of the house that we lived in together.
Regardless of what you want to call it — either chores or responsibilities — it is important that your children have an active role in taking care of your home. This can be as easy as setting the table, cleaning up after a meal, taking out garbage, or putting dirty laundry in the hamper. It is critical to teach your small ones that as simple as these things are, they count big time towards keeping your home running smoothly.
Do your children help with any of these actions right now? If not, start with one. Pick one thing you would like them to do. For the next 14 days, make sure this one action happens each and every day.
Can you find a way to get them to do it without you constantly reminding them? You could place a sign on the wall with the kids’ chores, implement a timer to remind them, or integrate them into their routine. You can also consider doing one of the steps of the process together.
Once this one action is part of their daily routine with minimal support from you, begin teaching them to regularly complete a second task around the home. The continuous growth will be satisfying and will make your life easier.
This is so important for you and your small one. It will leave you feeling less like your child’s maid and more like his parent. It will teach him to take care of the home, which is an invaluable life skill. It is also a way to spend quality time together. Rather than you doing chores and the kids acting out to get your attention, they will have your attention by helping you.
One final, critical point: children do not know that chores are hard, boring, and challenging. They only learn that when we teach them that.
If you can instead impart on them that home activities are a fun part of life, then they will learn to enjoy them. That is an invaluable gift to give them!
Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavior specialist based in Brooklyn who has worked with families for more than 20 years. Her book “Love Your Classroom Again” was a bestseller. She has also been a guest on WCBS and Fox. Find out more at DrMar
