Should you find yourself arguing with your offspring about wearing pants, eating lunch,or other staples of daily life, author and blogger Bunmi Laditan offers solace: In just a few short decades, you’ll be bequeathing impossibly loud toys and doling out Snickers for breakfast to your grandchildren.
The 31-year-old mom behind The Honest Toddler blog, The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting, and @honesttoddler tweets, blogs, and Facebook posts opines in the hilarious voice of her current Kindergartener. With Calvin-and-Hobbes-sophistication, The Honest Toddler offers herself up as Target’s new CEO (“I am sorry about what happened today, I was not aware of your pants-on policy”), writes an open letter to the child she hit at the playground (“We are sworn enemies for all eternity”), and suggests playtime activities (“Cats think they’re so special because they have their own personal sandbox. Jokes on them because I play in it when they’re not looking”). 
Laditan’s quirky sense of humor applies to herself as well as everyone else. She says her favorite Amazon review of her book gave her one star because the poster thought she had written a serious parenting book.
New York Family chatted with the Quebec-based mom earlier this fall, while her 8- and 5-year-old daughters were at school. While keeping an eye on her 1-year-old son (“Get out of the oven, buddy,” she calls out in the most gentle of gentle voices), she reveals how she found her—or rather, her toddler’s—voice.
How did you get started with Honest Toddler?
It’s based on my middle child. She had the classic transition from babyhood to toddlerhood where she was rejecting meals, throwing tantrums, arguing about socks, and all that type of stuff. It was driving me crazy, so I just started tweeting in her voice or what I thought she’d say if she could speak eloquently.
You have a great following on Twitter and Facebook.
So many parents out there are suffering with toddlers. I’m just kidding! Toddlerhood is really different. People prepare you for babyhood, and they talk about teenagers. But toddlerhood is a shock to the system. It’s such a small person you’re arguing with where you’re delving into their consciousness: “What do you need? What do you want right now?” It’s different. It takes a lot of patience.
What makes your site different from other parenting sites?
It’s written from the perspective of the child mentality. Toddlers are almost like teenagers in that they have a lot of knowledge for their size, but not wisdom. They know much more than they did as babies, but not always how to apply it. That’s what’s charming, but annoying and frustrating. I love toddlers, especially other people’s toddlers because you don’t have to put them to bed. It’s such an interesting stage of life. They know about things. They know how to get their way. You have shoes older than these people, but they know how to push buttons and how to make demands of their own. They are pretty genius when you think how old they are, and how little experience they have on earth, and how far they can take something and bend the situation to their will. It’s fascinating. I really believe toddlers are who we all would be if we could stop caring. They are at the basic instinct of humanity—they want to be naked, eat snacks and have a good time. That’s their life. I approach toddlerhood as they’re not just adorable little love bunnies, but more of this complex personality.
What’s your philosophy on parenting—free range or holding them close?
When I had my first, I thought I needed to find a group. Most moms I knew were crunchy moms, attachment moms. So I tried to walk the walk for a while, but I like Froot Loops too much I think to be part of the crunchy mom group. I never really found a group I identified with in terms of my parenting philosophy. Also, kids change so much, too. Each child is so different. I just kind of let them be who they need [to be] without losing my mind.
How’s that going for you?
I’m still losing my mind, so that part isn’t working, but they’re doing all right. You know, when I was growing up, my mom was so crazy. She was always telling us what to do. We literally made our mom crazy. I have a whole new appreciation for her. You spend the second half of your parenting life, when the kids are out of the house, just recovering.
I love your chart on toddler behavior as interpreted by grandparents.
Every time my mom comes to visit, she brings the most obnoxious toy. I think it’s thinly veiled revenge. She bought the corn popper—you know, every time you pull it across the floor it sounds like a drive-by shooting. Kazoos. Just those beeping toys. She gives them M&Ms in the morning upstairs. I’m sure she enjoys watching me say: “Why won’t you listen? I’ve said this four times! Why won’t you eat your dinner?” I will laugh when I’m a grandparent.
What is it with kids today who think they have a right to argue with us?
We were scared of our parents, scared-slash-respectful. We weren’t coddled as much. I can’t remember being in a booster seat at any time. We lived on the edge. We always were around other kids, in groups. Our parents weren’t with us all the time, like we have to be with our kids. We roamed the neighborhood, went out picking blackberries and mixing them in the blender with sugar when we were like 8years old. Crazy stuff. And we never argued with our parents because it wouldn’t have ended well.
So your toddler is no longer a toddler. Fortunately you grew another one.
Yes, I grew another one. This one is proving quite the handful. He’s the first boy we’ve had. I try to not play too much into gender stereotypes, but it’s a little true. He does enjoy breaking things. He’s broken more things than both other children combined. He enjoys it. He puts himself in precarious situations. I feel like I’m saving his life all day. It’s nuts. He doesn’t even know the number of brushes he’s had with full cranial damage.
What would you do differently if you knew then what you know now about parenting?
I would probably take the fun, childless aunt role. (I’m kidding.) I think parenting is probably 80 percent of the time annoying, and 20 percent of the time you wonder ‘What did I ever do before these kids? I want this to last forever.’ And it’s that 20 percent that sustains us.
To read more from The Honest Toddler, visit thehonesttoddler.com
