Emily Giffin is that mom. You know, the mom from your kid’s preschool class you find yourself always wanting to sit next to, to be friends with. The one who makes everyone laugh at early morning drop-off and remembers to bring the portable potty thing on the field trip. Author of five novels (most recently the New York Times bestseller, “Heart of the Matter,” and of the acclaimed books “Something Borrowed” and “Something Blue,” the first of which will become a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson, Ginnifer Goodwin and John Krasinski this spring), the former NYC gal is exactly what you’d imagine from reading her books—candid, smart, witty. We were lucky enough to chat with Emily recently about her three adorable kids, how she feels about her characters making the jump to the big screen, and the best burger in New York City.
Your books address universal themes about relationships, which is, in part, why we love them. Your latest, “Heart of the Matter,” is no exception, but it did seem more serious in tone—why is that?
It wasn’t a conscious decision to make my books more serious. I think it has a lot to do with the characters growing up. I’m growing up and the stakes are just higher when you get older, when there are children involved. I’ve always written about relationships and the complexity of them, so from that standpoint, it’s been pretty consistent.
What’s the thing you’ve learned from your characters that has surprised you the most?
I find that in life and in my stories, people are resilient. People have this great capacity to forgive and have empathy for one another, and I think that is what readers are drawn to in the books. There is a sense of identifying with these characters that are clearly making poor decisions for themselves and often their mistakes hurt those that they love the most. But you can relate to them because you know that you’ve made mistakes like that, and your best friends have and your sisters have.
You have twin boys and Darcy in “Something Blue” does as well—are there any other autobiographical elements in your books?
The books aren’t autobiographical and they aren’t based in reality, but when you write about relationships, inevitably you draw from your relationships your experiences, your emotions, the way you felt about a toxic friendship or a fight with your husband. In other words, you can’t write in a vacuum. For me, particularly when I write in the first person, it’s helpful to have a way of identifying and connecting with the character. In the same way, when you meet a friend, you don’t have to have everything in common with them, but it helps to have something in common. So, yes, with “Something Blue,” I was pregnant with twins when I decided to make Darcy pregnant with twins, which was a way of sharing my hell at the time (laughs)! In “Heart of the Matter,” I have things in common with each character—Valerie is a working mother and is sort of balancing everything, which I can relate to; with Tessa, I definitely understand the pressures of having young children and a marriage, how that is a strain, and how marriage can go in cycles.
The filming of “Something Borrowed” wrapped last June in New York. How do you feel about your book coming to life on screen?
I approached the whole process with realistic expectations because I had heard it can be a frustrating process for authors. But I’ve been thrilled with everything. The producers and the director were so inclusive. Being part of the whole process, I can see Kate Hudson is the ideal Darcy; she channels the essence of her. I think John Krasinski is perfection. The script is fabulous; it’s funny and heartwarming, and they changed it in the ways they needed to. I’m really thrilled.
You’re writing the screenplay for “Baby Proof” and collaborating with someone. How’s that process going for you?
I’m writing with my best friend from high school who I’ve known since we were 14. We’ve always shared our writing, so it’s been personally satisfying and a lot of fun. It is nice to collaborate, period, because writing is so solitary. I hope it gets made into a movie, as I think it would have an amazing ensemble cast.
What book influenced you most?
First book I ever fell hopelessly in love with was “The Little Princess”by Frances Hodges Burnett. It was also my mother’s favorite books when she was a little girl. She actually named me Emily after the doll in the book. I can remember reading it and thinking that I wanted to be an author someday.
Your first novel was “The Funny Pandas and the Messy Room,” written at age 5. Have any of your kids made books? Are they authors in the making?
They do—it’s so satisfying. I just want them to do their own thing, whatever makes them happy, but they all show this propensity. I think all kids have strong imaginations, but both of the boys have made little books. It’s very fun to watch.
Like many of our readers, you are a working mom. What do you find is the hardest part about handling the juggle of work and kids?
There are two things that are kind of related. First, you feel like you can never give either thing 100%; if you didn’t have children, you could be doing so much more with your career and if you didn’t have a career, you could be doing so much more with your children. With every choice there’s a con, a downside or some compromise you have to
make. Everyone makes the best choices for them or for their family, but it is a constant series of compromises.
Second, and I think all mothers can relate to this whether they work, whether they don’t work, whether they work part-time—is the guilt. And guilt is such a useless, draining emotion, but it is inevitable as a mother because it is such an important thing you are doing. You can’t possibly be perfect and you feel these children deserve perfection and 100%. It is an impossible thing to live up to that.
You live in Atlanta now, but you used to live in here in Manhattan—what do you miss most about New York City?
I miss so much about New York! I try to remind myself, when I am missing it most, that I don’t know New York with children and it might not be the New York that I remember. But I do come back once a month, which is my time to recharge. I miss the energy of the city.
If you could have one meal delivered from an NYC restaurant to Atlanta, what would it be?
Crispy rice topped with spicy tuna from Koi, anything from Cookshop, and tuna salad sandwiches from Burger Heaven—I have one delivered to the salon if I’m there and getting my hair done!
What’s next on the horizon?
Well, “Love The One You’re With” was optioned [to become a film] and I’ve read the script and I love it. And I’m working on my sixth novel. It’s in the early stages. As with my others, it is relationship-driven, about the messiness of love. And I’m thinking of a peach cover!
Photo of Emily: Deborah Feingold.
Photo of Emily’s family: courtesy of Emily Giffin.
