There are eight more weeks to go until my daughter arrives and as my due date approaches, some of my excitement is turning to fear with a sprinkle of panic! I consider myself a fairly capable woman, but I find myself waking up in the middle of the night worrying about things such as what if I can’t get her to stop crying or what if she doesn’t get into a preschool (is this just a NYC parental fear?) There are so many things to worry about when it comes to new parenthood, but here are the top five fears that are keeping me up at night.
Giving birth. I might as well start with what is imminent. For months, I didn’t even think about this part. It seemed so far away. But now that giving birth is just a couple of weeks away, I have to admit, I am nervous. What if I can’t endure the pain? What if something goes wrong? I try to tell myself to remain calm and that she is going to come out one way or the other, but as the day approaches, my fears are getting the best of me.
Having a good sleeper. I’m determined to have a good sleeper. I’ve watched my sleep- deprived friends with babies sleepwalk through their days and my goal is to try to avoid that. I’ve been reading up on all the baby sleep-training methods and I’m ready to implement one of them! But what if it doesn’t work? What if my child is up every few hours, for months or even years? How will my husband and I function at work or be able to carry on everyday conversations with no sleep? My fingers are staying crossed for a good sleeper.
What if my child doesn’t like me? Like most parents, I dream of having a close relationship with my child. I hope she loves spending time with me and wants to tell me what is going on in her life. But what if she doesn’t? I remember having friends who didn’t like their parents–what if my child doesn’t like me or want to spend time with me?
Juggling it all. Work, time with my husband, friends, family, gym time—these things are all hard to fit in without a child. I know my life is about to change and get more hectic, but I get worried about how I am going to do it all. I’m sure in the beginning, it will be a whirlwind and I won’t fit any of these things in. But I am hoping, in time, I will learn how to balance it all.
Making sure my daughter is happy. Even before my daughter is born, I want her to be happy. I want her to enjoy her daily activities, laugh a lot, and have good friends as she grows up. But what if she isn’t a happy child? My mom always used to quote the author Elizabeth Stone: “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” I know parents hurt for their children and I know I will always want to protect her, which I know I can’t. All I can do is be there for her and be a supportive parent in whatever way she needs me.
