Are you thinking of inviting several of your child’s friends over for a sleepover bash, but you are not sure you can handle all those exuberant and tireless kids for more than three hours?
It’s OK, sleepovers can be overwhelming and exhausting. Let’s face it: they can be a downright nightmare. It will take quite a bit of planning and forethought, but both you AND your child’s friends can have a positive experience if you take the time to think things through before the first excited guest appears at your door.
Rule 1: Establish the rules from the get-go
Sleepovers are different from other parties hosted in your home in that the kids know their own parents won’t be picking them up until the next day. This gives them a “no holds barred” attitude toward the night. After hosting several sleepovers for both my son and daughter, I’ve found that kids will respond well to rules if you establish them right away. Hold a “welcome meeting,” in which you tell the guests about all the great activities you have planned. Then, give them a list of rules to follow. Make sure that they understand these are YOUR rules, not your child’s. Tell them if things go well, you have a special activity planned (this can be a blockbuster movie or a game with really cool prizes).
Rule 2: Prepare your home and plan ahead
Find a place in your home that will be suitable for several kids bunking out and playing group games. This might be a playroom, or any large space with sparse furnishings. Remove any breakable or valuable items, so you won’t become a nervous wreck if a pillow fight ensues. Make sure that the eating area is properly protected. If you don’t have easy-to-clean tile or vinyl flooring, prepare the floor with some plastic splash mats or drop cloths.
Keep in mind that your child’s friends may not know their way around your house very well, especially in the middle of the night. Place nightlights in bathrooms and hallways to make your home easy to navigate when it is dark. It’s a good idea to stock up on a few extra supplies, too. Make sure you have toothbrushes, pillows, and socks — in case one of the guests forgets to bring them.
Most parents agree that too much free time is a recipe for disaster, so plan ahead. Make sure you have scheduled several controlled activities besides dinner, cake and opening gifts.
Rule 3: Sanity is in the numbers
Larger groups of kids tend to get more unruly.
“I had 12 10-year-old boys for my son’s sleepover a few years ago,” recalls Mary Kiernan, a mother of five. “This was way too many. They were wild!” Kiernan suggests that the maximum number should be about eight, including your own child. Most parents also agree an even number works best — to avoid the “odd-man-out” scenario.
A good rule of thumb is to invite those children whose families you know. Many parents today are leery about sending their children to sleepover parties if they don’t know the family. In order to avoid inevitable disappointment due to declined invitations, put a message on the invitation such as, “Party continues after 8 for those who would like to sleep over.” This will enable guests to decline the sleepover part, but to join the festivities and celebrate with your child early in the evening.
Rule 4: Activities make or break a party
It’s imperative that you have a list of various activities planned.
“You have to plan lots of activities to wear them out,” says mom Christina Castelonia. However, for indoor activities, she suggests anything that will keep the kids calm. “For girls, painting nails and doing hair always works,” she says.
If you are having a sleepover for boys and you are worried about them spending too much time in front of the computer or video games, schedule some group activities.
Boys enjoy team activities, so organize a mystery game or sports trivia game and break the kids up into teams. Kiernan also advocates planning group activities.
“Charades and bingo are always a hit,” she says. “Make sure you have an alternative planned in case one or two don’t want to play the game.”
Crafts are enjoyable for any gender. The best crafts are those that also serve as party souvenirs:
• Photo frames (take a digital group picture, print and insert in each child’s custom frame). Glue magnets on back for bulletin boards
• Pillow cases, tote bags or T-shirts — use fabric markers or paint to decorate (don’t forget the party date and signatures of all those who attended)
• Bookmarks or book bag chains that celebrate the theme of the party
Rule 5: Fun food, happy campers
You will probably be serving dinner, snacks and breakfast, so the food will play an important role in making the party successful.
Mixing food and fun is always a hit.
“I always do pizza,” says Kiernan. “I had the kids make their own individual pizza at one of the parties and that made a great activity, too. The kids loved it!” In lieu of traditional birthday cake, set up bowls of toppings for make-your-own-sundaes or make-your-own-cupcakes. You can always put a candle on the birthday child’s concoction!
I made the mistake of not having enough drinks at my son’s first sleepover. Remember, popcorn and chips are laden with salt. The kids will be thirsty, so you’ll need to stock up on a variety of drinks that quench thirst.
Keep breakfast simple.
Avoid making omelettes or scrambled eggs, which only serve a few at a time. Kiernan prefers pancakes and French toast to feed a large group.
“It’s easy to make, easy to keep warm, and you can make a large quantity for not too much money,” she says.
“I like to serve chocolate chip pancakes or M & M pancakes,” adds Castelonia. “The kids love anything with chocolate!”
Don’t forget to check on food allergies. As a mother of five children, Kiernan is all too familiar with allergies. She says that it’s imperative that you ask parents ahead of time if their children have food allergies.
“Always keep cereal on hand in case someone is allergic to eggs,” she says.
Be prepared for the occasional vegetarian, as well. Making sure you have at least one meatless choice is not a difficult task, and it will save you the trouble of whipping something up if one of the guests is a budding vegetarian — I’ve had a few at my house!
Quick food tips:
• Less fuss is a must
• Use paperware and paper tablecloths for easy clean up
• Provide a healthy-choice snack, such as carrots and dip
• Don’t serve caffeinated items close to bedtime (i.e. cola or chocolate)
Rule 6: Yes Virginia, there is a bedtime!
Uh-oh … it’s bedtime! Even for the most organized party host or hostess, getting the kids to bed at a “respectable” hour can prove to be an insurmountable task. Castelonia remarks that although sleepovers can be some of the most talked about celebrations, you have to have reasonable expectations about how things will go.
“That’s the price you pay. The kids will be up late and cranky the next morning,” she warns.
Kiernan suggests putting a movie in at the very end of the evening once the kids have prepared for bed.
“The kids will be ready to relax,” she claims. Make sure that the movie is age-appropriate (when in doubt, ask for permission from parents beforehand). Any type of calming activity will suffice late in the evening — just make sure you’ve completed all endeavors that encourage hysterical enthusiasm (such as piñatas) early on.
Plan to separate groups of kids if some seem to want to whisper and pass notes via a pen light while others are ready to crash. At my daughter’s last sleepover, I separated them into two groups. The sleepyheads made a beeline for the family room, while those who wanted to chit-chat remained in the playroom. This seemed to quell any impending arguments.
Rule 7: There’s got to be a morning after!
After a night of ghost stories, giggling and gossiping, your child’s bleary-eyed guests may not be ready to “get with the program” the next morning. Here’s a perfect solution: a contest. Give your child’s guests a specified time to get dressed, clean up, and pack their things. Tell them there will be a surprise treat if they are successful. This may be a good time to give out goodie bags with a little something extra, such as energy bars or drinks, because they will need the energy!
Hopefully, you remembered to list the pick-up time on the invitations, and to remind parents of this time when they dropped their children off the night before. Castelonia suggests that pick-up time be no later than 11 am. “Most will be leaving to go to other activities anyway,” she says.
Finally, when the last guest has stepped out the door, grab yourself a cup of herbal tea and head for the couch. This respite will be well deserved!
For theme ideas, creative activities and other tips, check out these books:
“Slumber Parties,” by Penny Warner (Meadowbrook Press)
“52 Slumber Party Activities,” by Lynn Gordon (Chronicle Books, LLC)
“Slumber Parties,” by Brooks Whitney (American Girl Library: Pleasant Company Publications)
Or, visit www.birthdaypartyideas.com/html/sleep_over.html for a list and detailed description of award-winning sleepover parties for both boys and girls.
