Living just blocks away from Symphony Space on the Upper West Side, I’m familiar with the cultural venue as a place for rocking out to the latest kiddie bands, celebrating literature, and catching quality documentaries a mere month or so after their initial release.
So I was shocked to see expletive-laden captions on projected images of kids covered in peanut butter when I was there on Monday night. But I liked what I saw…and heard. So did the rest of the audience, a packed house of 30- to 40-somethings, braving a late-March snowstorm to enjoy a heated comedic debate determining: Which is better, childhood or adulthood?
An informal applause poll revealed that many attendees showed up regularly to the bi-monthly comedy series, Uptown Showdown. Take Todd Patterson, 46, and his girlfriend Hope Segal, 40, who said they’ve been to at least five shows. “It’s one of the most fun evenings of comedy,” said Todd, who appreciates the close proximity to his Harlem home and the comparatively low ticket price of $15. “[The series] introduces you to people you’ve never heard of before.” Among their past favorites were Opus Moreschi, a “Colbert Report” writer, and Dave Hill of “This American Life.”
Monday’s show featured some very talented writers and comedians, none as recognizable as Michael Ian Black or Janeane Garofalo (past alums), but all very sharp. Arguing that adulthood is better than childhood, was Starlee Kine (“This American Life”), Joe Randazzo (“Adult Swim”), and Cintra Wilson (The New York Times culture critic), who really embraced the theater of debate as battle by dressing as a red beret-clad commando. Childhood’s team featured Max Silvestri (host of Brooklyn comedy series Big Terrific), Sara Schaefer (MTV’s “Nikki & Sara Live”) and Jon Glaser (Delocated on “Adult Swim”).
Starlee started strong by reminding us that adults are practically kids these days as evidenced by the ubiquitous hoodie, while Max countered with a slideshow comparing morose adults with a happily dozing baby flanked by adorable puppies. The debate took a dark turn when Joe deadpanned, admitting that he had to urinate but because he was an adult he wasn’t about to pee his pants. The crowd loved his list of reasons why “childhood sucks,” including the salient points that 1) children are more likely to be kidnapped, 2) they don’t have much money, 3) and they can smell like sh*t.
Freedom was the theme of Sara’s case for childhood. After expounding on the joys of thumb sucking, she showed a hilarious video of her middle school self mortified while being filmed at graduation, mouthing “I hate you,” and “I’m going to kill you,” to her mother. “I treated her like dirt,” recalled Sara, “and she still had to feed me, clothe me, and buy me Legos.”
Cintra’s slideshow presentation revealed that children are involved in an elaborate plot to destroy adults. Her proof? Photos of herself and other kids engaged in such warfare tactics as the Campaign of Endless Noise. Another slide of two slime-encrusted kids read “Children: Filthy Idiots Hell Bent on Your Undoing.” Finally, Jon recounted a poignant summer camp story in which he manages to try out curse words on his counselor, yet escapes intact, affirming children’s superior craftiness.
After a Q&A session with game audience members, the crowd’s applause determined the winner: Adulthood. Agreed. As Jon pointed out, kids can’t come out to see a comedy show like this!
Alina Larson is an editor/writer who blogs about ‘scraper escapes at Family Escapes NYC.
