As my 16-year-old daughter ages up, our arguments can cut more personally and deeply than when she was in 1st grade and was unhappy about not getting another Webkinz doll. On Sunday night, a conversation about NPR’s acclaimed podcast, “Serial,” devolved into accusations from her that I was close-minded, obstinate, and too easily excitable when I’m not agreed with. None of which is true, of course (except the last point). Last night Elena and I watched much of the Democratic Convention together. Since our political preferences are similar, there was a lot to concur on. There was that one awkward moment of difference, however.
But first a spoiler alert:
I try to be scrupulous about making sure this magazine is, foremost, a place where parents can turn for advice and support and good information about raising children. Occasionally, there will be dips into the overtly political on issues that feel like family issues to me, like parental leave to name an obvious one. In today’s anecdote, I share my preference for who our next President would be, but I’m not writing to persuade you. I’m writing to explore the feeling of being at odds with my daughter, an affliction that, I’m told, affects Democrats and Republicans alike.
Our disagreement came in the aftermath of former President Bill Clinton’s speech about his life with his wife Hillary Clinton, who officially became the Democratic nominee earlier in the evening. I wasn’t sure how much Elena was aware of Bill’s storied history in delivering epic convention addresses, so I primed her along the way. And by the end of last night’s address, she seemed as swept up in it as I was.
To me, the former President had, once again, delivered big-time, managing to convey in a gripping and charming narrative, not only his love and respect for his wife, but her life as a dedicated and effective public servant. [If you want more on this, I refer you to this article from Slate, and this article from New York Magazine.] If you believed what you heard, then you heard him dispel the sense of Hillary as a dishonest and untrustworthy character, which seems to be the most important perception hurting her candidacy.
After the big convention speeches, I tend to flip around the news networks, to take in a variety of opinions. This is what passes as entertainment in my life. First up this time was MSNBC, where Rachel Maddow punctured my rosy afterglow with her own decidedly mixed reaction. She found the top of the speech “shocking and weird,” in how un-feminist it was of him to speak of their earlier courtship when he fell for “a girl.” Maddow gave the end of the speech, the political case for Hillary, an A+, but to me she seemed kind of disoriented by the whole thing. You can read more about her reaction here.
And then—oh no!—Elena chimed in.
“Yeah, I kind of agree with her. Why did he have to talk about [Hillary] not wearing make-up?” she said. “What does that have to do with anything?”
I didn’t agree with either of them. I feel like the beginning of the speech was what enabled the end to be great—by humanizing her, by explaining her early life, he could then more persuasively make the serious claims for her to be the next president.
But in one of the miracles of this political and parental season, I let it go, huffing a bit inside but determined to at least seem not so easily excitable when I’m not agreed with.
Elena knew my true feelings, I’m sure, but she let it go too.
Eric Messinger is the editor of New York Family. He can be reached at emessinger@manhattanmedia.com
