Parenting is a life-long journey of learning, discovering, and, hopefully, joy! You need to learn how to soothe your infant, safely allow your toddler to explore, support your child as he or she develops friendships and academic skills, and become a coach and guide through the teenage years and the independent adulthood that follows.
Parenting a child is often easier when you also have a support system with people to guide you. If your child struggles, do you know who to turn to? If there is a medical problem, you might turn to the pediatrician. But what if your child is not developing at a typical rate with language skills, academic skills, or in another area?
When a very young child is showing slow development of walking, talking, toileting, or in socialization skills, this may be a temporary delay or a concern warranting intervention. When a student is struggling in school, some brief extra help may resolve the issue, or more intensive support may be needed.
If your child is having difficulty in his rate of learning, talking, or in physical development, school staff may suggest that extra help would be helpful. If the school staff feel that your child needs more intensive support, they may recommend that your child receive assessments to measure her current strengths and weaknesses and to determine whether your child meets eligibility for special education. If you have concerns about whether your child is developing at a typical rate, you can also feel free to speak with those individuals who are involved in monitoring or educating your child. If you have significant concerns, you can even contact the director of special education in your local school district and ask to discuss ways to support your child.
If it is determined that your child would benefit from receiving special education services, the next question is what kind of services? Special education does not mean one particular kind of service. In the most intensive form, a child may go to a specialized program that focuses on helping students who have significant needs. Bradley, for example, was nonverbal and needed specific training on life skills. Many special education students attend “regular” classrooms in neighborhood schools but receive specialized support for certain periods during their school time. For instance, Olivia receives speech therapy and resource room to help her to understand what is being said and to figure out how to express herself more accurately in her conversations and in her writing; however, she spends most of her day with her long-term friends in the traditional classroom setting.
If school staff recommend that your child get tested for special education, or recommend services based upon the testing, it’s time to find out why. Here are a few useful questions:
• How would the special education help my child more than the current support plan?
• How do I explain this extra help to my child?
• If my child is getting this specialized help, what will he be missing when he’s out of the regular classroom?
• How will we know if the support is helping?
• If my child gets the support, will he always need extra help?
Clearly, educators don’t have a crystal ball, but they should be able to guide you through the process and be open to listening to your concerns and your perceptions about your child. They should also be interested in hearing about your child’s strengths, since focusing on strengths and not only seeing improvements in areas of weakness, can build self-esteem. Special education services are re-evaluated yearly, or more often if needed. If your child learns to compensate for challenges, then he may no longer need the extra help.
If you are concerned about how your child will respond to being told that she will get specialized help, you might consider asking the school professionals about ways that you can explain it to your child. After all, the professionals have probably worked with a lot of children and know what kinds of explanations are more likely to lead to acceptance and even relief!
Dr. Wendy L. Moss, is a clinical and school psychologist who has worked with children and adults in private practice, school, clinic, and hospital settings. She has co-written several books to support parents and children including “The Survival Guide for Kids in Special Education” and “The Survival Guide for Kids with Physical Disabilities & Challenges.”
Denise M. Campbell has enjoyed a dynamic career as a speech pathologist and later as a school district administrator. Over the years, she has conducted evaluations and provided instructional services to hundreds of children and developed positive relationships with families. Her work with children affected by a myriad of disabilities has provided a unique perspective in “The Survival Guide for Kids in Special Education.”
