For three years Long Island Parent magazine has been among the sponsors of the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers walk at SUNY Farmingdale, and this morning was no exception. I didn’t feel up to going, really. It has been a long week, one of those when you’re working and running somewhere every minute yet never feel like you’re really whittling down your to-do list. I was so tired and it was so chilly this morning. But Long Island Parent needed to be there. So I loaded up the car and went to set up our booth as we do with all our events, complete with crafts for the kids.
Within minutes I was humbled about my internal grumbling. And in tears. Because what do you say to a 7-year-old child wearing a T-shirt that reads, “A drunk driver killed my dad?” Her mom stood nearby surrounded by friends. Her T-shirt read, “A drunk driver killed my husband.” On April 30 at 5 am while he was on his way to work. What is the sense of that? The little girl happily made her craft with me and we chatted about her choices of stickers. And I was so glad to be able to be a part of the event for her sake and the 1,000-plus others there, all wearing equally tragic T-shirts about someone they had lost. Because even though we all know we’re not supposed to drink and drive, somehow there are those who feel this doesn’t apply to them. They drive anyway, and someone dies. Someone like the cousin of one little boy who told me today, “A car runned over my cousin.” Or the woman who was there because three years ago, on his Thanksgiving break, her sister-in-law’s brother was killed by a drunk driver.
What do you say to a child about reckless adult behavior that can change a child’s life forever? How do you explain all the empty pairs of shoes along the MADD walk’s path that represent lives lost, from the tiniest baby shoes to adult male sneakers?
You can’t, really. All you can do is repeat the message to drive sober and pray that someone is listening. If you won’t do it for my daughters and husband, or the many families there at the walk today, do it for your own family. Because no child should ever have to wear a T-shirt that reads “A drunk driver killed my dad.” If you insist that you can drink and drive then please tell me, what would you say to that child?
