What a Nanny Wants You to Know: Between Caregiver and Parent

Finding a good family to nanny feels like winning the lottery, that is, if the lottery is sustainable employment rooted in mutual respect and open communication. After years of “ok” nannying experiences that seemed to blur together, I’ve recently celebrated a year with a family I feel lucky to work for. My connection to the boys has been crucial to the success of the whole endeavour. Their parents’ support of my pursuits within the role and outside of it have been, too. Beyond that, there are a few things that have made this experience not only lovelier, but more worthwhile, than the rest.

It all started last August, after a few frantic months of working as an office coordinator for a fashion label. I was burnt out, fresh out of undergrad, and in desperate need of some time to sort what was next. I thought back to work experiences I had enjoyed in the past. Nannying came to mind almost immediately. I logged back into my online nannying profile, updated my profile picture, and hoped for the best.

After sorting through a sea of cryptic postings, I came across a simple request for an after-school sitter for two boys. I applied. My future employer responded. We talked on the phone briefly. I went over to the apartment to meet the family that weekend.

For fun activities to do with the kids as a nanny, stop by The Best Libraries and Indie Book Shops in NYC

First Impressions

This wasn’t my first Nannying in New York Rodeo, not by a long shot. Over the years, I’ve been a nanny in virtually every neighborhood. The best experiences always involve being introduced by the parents to the children upon first meeting. It sounds simple, but there have been a few occasions where I’ve had to request an introduction before showing up at hopefully the right door step in order to be greeted by what I assume to be the right child.

These first meetings are much like first dates — a bit awkward, usually ok in the end, but imperative for determining if there’s any chemistry. I’ve been on a few first meetings that resulted in a polite decline of moving forward, and thank goodness. Once, I walked into a cluttered, cat hair coated basement apartment, only to be abandoned with a 2-year-old while the mother took a work call. Another time, I leaned on a stack of books I’d set up as a prop for a Facetime introduction that promptly toppled onto the floor.

When I met the family I nanny for now, I felt instantly at ease in their sunny apartment. The boys and I connected over their latest Lego creations. The parents were calm, kind, and attentive. There’s something to be said for gut reactions, especially when it’s work as personal as caregiving.

Talk About Timeline

After an excellent first meeting, I was thrilled to receive an offer from my employers. Thanks to a comfortable and candid conversation during our first meeting, I felt confident moving forward. I knew what hours would be kept, how compensation would work, and even what to expect for sick day procedure. Taking the time to sort this all out before I even began gave me a sense of assurance and made me feel prepared.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be formal, but both parties benefit from honesty, especially when it comes to future plans. No one wants to be stranded without support. In my current position, a formal contract outlined expectations plainly. I apprehensively mentioned graduate school as soon as I started applying last fall. My employers met my nervousness with generosity and encouragement, reaffirming the truth that discussing early and often fosters the healthiest lines of communication. When I was accepted to my first choice low residency program, I couldn’t wait to share the news.

Communication is Key

Channels of communication are just as important as the act of corresponding. I’ve worked for families that expected constant text messages while I was with the children. One mother asked for a photograph of her child every hour, on the hour. There are only so many smiling in the swing photos one can take, come hour three in the park. Another parent insisted on leaving written summaries in a notebook before I went home. “Normal day. Made pasta for dinner. Listened to Hamilton soundtrack. Was beat at chess, again.” The journal entries stunted the natural flow of conversation, plus served as a constant reminder of my lack of improvement in chess.

Now, I check in when my employer arrives home, usually debriefing on the day, catching up, etc. We email when I’m not with the boys and when I am, short texts or phone calls are exchanged. I love sending her snapshots of our days and even made a short film of favorite moments as part of a holiday gift. It feels empowering to be trusted and at the same time, know that both parents are accessible. There’s always a communication learning curve, in any relationship. But being able to speak to what feels most productive out of the gate can help to avoid missed memos or a general sense of overwhelming aloneness.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

And nothing is worse, as a nanny, than feeling alone. Once, during a particularly spirited after-school argument with his sister, a child I was a nanny for locked himself in the bathroom. I scoured cabinets for ingredients, resorting to homemade pancakes for dinner with pantry staples. The boy burst into the kitchen a minute later to alert me the tub was overflowing. The sister called from her bedroom at the exact moment informing me that the dog had peed on her rug. Neither of the parents could be reached and after an emergency group outing to the bodega for cleaning supplies and pizza, I collapsed on the velvet settee, until I remembered we were late for dance.

Understanding my role as a nanny in the web of support that keeps the boys’ lives running smoothly not only takes the pressure off of the work, but also helps keep everything in balance. On any given day, I nod at the familiar ferry coordinator, greet the doorman, and smile at the neighbors next door. When family visits from out of town, I feel excited to catch up and thrilled for the extra attention for the boys. By introducing me to family members and family friends, my employers helped me to feel bolstered and supported — a veritable part of the family’s circle.

Build Routines

We take the stairs down to the scooters, snap on helmets, and race off to the ferry that always seems to beat us to the pier. We settle into our specific row, unpack snacks, and start a story, usually about a bad guy named Jason and always featuring a chase scene. We arrive home, unpack backpacks, and I start dinner. It took us about a month of trial and error to define this series of moments that set us up for a blissfully uneventful afternoon. And even on the days when we have an activity or engagement, the boys like to ask what we would normally be doing at that time. “We’d be waiting for the ferry,” or “We’d be running a bath,” serve as metrics for our time together.

In the past, lack of routine made it hard on everyone involved. Loads of last minute messages being exchanged with the parent could distract from the essential after school debrief on the walk home. Or interrupting a project could make moving to the next activity nearly impossible. Now, something as simple as choosing a recipe on Tuesday, shopping for ingredients on Wednesday, and baking on Thursday has become our tried and true rhythm.

Plan Ahead

Some nights, the boys crack open the window and yell adorably indiscernible farewells from three flights up. Other nights, we race around the hallway. However we say goodnight, my employers are always acutely aware of my departing on time. It’s a simple gesture that speaks volumes to their respect for my life outside of babysitting.

Holidays when the boys are off school are discussed weeks in advance. Vacation time is always discussed months before. The more planning becomes customary, the easier it is to express flexibility when events come up. When I’m away at school or on holiday, I find myself missing the structure and delight of my time with the boys. I get back to the book I’m reading or the train I’m racing to catch, but not without gratitude for the work I love and the family that makes it possible.

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Dedimus Potestatem

<p>Dedimus Potestatem provides fun, engaging, academically challenging programs to students in primary, middle, and high school. Programs include Leadership, Debate, Model United Nations, Computer Programming, Financial Literacy, Filmmaking, Philosophy, Model Congress, Mock Trial, Etiquette, Bioethics, Stem and Bioethics, and more. We currently offer both virtual and in-person private, semi-private, and group sessions and after-school programs. Contact us to bring us to your school today!</p> <p>Sessions</p> <p>We currently offer both virtual and in-person private, semi-private, and group sessions as well as after-school programs. To register, visit <a href="https://www.potestatem.co/bookclassesnow" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.potestatem.co/bookclassesnow </a>or email us at <a href="mailto:[email protected]?subject=REGISTER" target="_blank" rel="noopener">[email protected]</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/leadership" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leadership: Middle School ages 10-13, High School ages 14-18</a></p> <p>This is a unique leadership course that gives students the skills they need to succeed in life. Using an activity-based syllabus centered around character traits most sought and admired in leaders (initiative, honesty, self-control, adaptability, empathy, persuasiveness, resourcefulness, diligence, tolerance, determination, generosity, punctuality, courage, reliability, endurance, deference, creativity and integrity) students learn how to deal with situations they encounter in life. These building blocks will ensure they grow to become the leaders so sought after by our burgeoning society. Our grading rubric was adapted with the permission of Neil Mercer, the Director of research and Head of Faculty at The University of Cambridge.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/little-leaders-prek-and-kindergarten" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Little Leaders: Primary School Ages 6-9</a></p> <p>Developed by former pre-school and elementary teachers, this ethics-centered program utilizes a play-based method to encourage students to explore and apply soft skills in their daily lives. While cultivating the skills they will need to build strong, successful relationships, they will learn how to find their voice and showcase themselves in the best way. Students will learn to communicate and negotiate so they can be better team leaders and team players. Students will learn how to deal with situations they encounter in life, such as bullying, cheating, conflicts between two or more parties, and more. The inculcation of these values in our children's formative years will ensure they grow to become the leaders so sought after by our burgeoning society.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/beginnersdebate" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Speech & Debate</a> (competitive and non-competitive programs available)</p> <p>This online after-school program prepares students for formal and informal presentations. Participants learn to craft and present arguments and inform, persuade, and motivate an audience in a variety of ways. According to the English Speaking Union, debate is a natural fit for students and compliments common core standards. Debate builds literacy and multi-media research skills, fosters critical thinking and expanded perspectives, enhances public speaking skills, increases confidence, trains students to listen effectively, supports diverse learners and strengthens civil engagement and discourse. </p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/model-un" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Model United Nations (Ages 11-18)</a></p> <p>Model UN simulates the six major organs of the United Nations. Students role play as delegates from a country of their choosing and learn to write and present resolutions based on topics they are passionate about-just as if they were representing member states of the United Nations. We utilize materials from National Model UN and video tutorials to teach students how to write and present position papers, working papers, and draft resolutions. Students use debate and negotiation to enlist the support of other delegates for their resolution. Model UN is a great way to teach students leadership skills like communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, and delegation.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/self-defense-classes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Self Defense and Empowerment</a></p> <p>Developed by a veteran Krav Maga specialist, this self-defense program will focus on the principle of healthy minds in healthy bodies. Students will focus on de-escalation techniques as well as safe and active means of self-defense. Through active games and fun drills, students will learn the disciplined focus, critical thinking, adaptability, and resilience necessary to achieve goals, as well as gain valuable social insights into leadership and teamwork. Students will expend energy and reduce stress while learning to stand and present confidently.</p> <p>Mock Trial (<a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/mock-trial-classes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fairy Tale Mock Trial for ages 7-9</a>, regular <a href="https://www.potestatem.co/mock-trial-classes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Mock Trial Ages 10-18</a>)</p> <p>Mock trial is a hands-on simulation of the American judicial system. The goal is to help participants acquire a working knowledge of our judicial system, develop analytical abilities and communication skills, display leadership in a court of law, and gain an understanding of their obligations and responsibilities as participating members of our society. Materials for this course are provided by The American Bar Association.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/model-congress" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Model Congress: Ages 10-18</a></p> <p>This civics course simulates the legislative process. Students will learn about the electoral process, lobby for issues they are passionate about, draft and deliver bills, amend legislation, debate international policy, and learn how to effectively represent a constituent body of their choosing. We utilize materials from The Constitutional Rights Foundation, ICivics (founded by Justice Sandra Day O’Connor) and the National Model U.S. Congress. These resources have been proven to improve students’ civic knowledge, presentation, and core literacy skills. New research has also shown that the use of the aforementioned materials has also led to increased participation in the democratic process. Our objective in this course is to educate the next generation, nurture and inculcate a passion for civics and history and encourage young people to advocate for themselves.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/philosophy" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Philosophy</a></p> <p>The focus of the Philosophy class is to examine and understand the ideas behind the most popular philosophies embraced throughout the world. To do this, students examine ethical situations through the lens of these philosophies and engage in a Socratic style debate. Students are presented with an ethical question and they must identify stakeholders and players within the dilemma, discuss the key moral issues and present opposing viewpoints. This class was built for students who wish to <a href="https://nhseb.unc.edu/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">compete in the middle or high school Ethics Bowl</a>. </p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/money-matters-financial-literacy-for-kids-afterschool">Money Matters: Financial Literacy for Students</a></p> <p>The Money Matters course is built to help students manage their personal finances, from building credit and loan applications to interest rates and investing strategies. This class will cover the basics of financial health, savings, spending habits, and budgeting. After learning how to store, track, and spend responsibly, students will learn about risk management, APRs, and tax preparation. This class will use real-life examples and teach students how to set and achieve financial goals. This course is ideal for middle and high school students.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/stem-dna-ethics" target="_blank" rel="noopener">STEM and Bioethics: (Ages 10-18)</a></p> <p>Our STEM program will give kids the opportunity to think critically about science and society, and to practice communicating scientific topics in ways everyone can understand. To be a successful scientist in our modern world, one must not only have a broad understanding of scientific material learned at school, but also the ability to communicate effectively and share that knowledge with others. Each week of this program will build on the previous while also introducing new scientific topics for discussion.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/virtual-after-school-etiquette" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Etiquette (Ages 5 and up)</a></p> <p>Due to increasing popular demand from groups and individuals, we have decided to offer our etiquette course as an eight week after-school class. Students will not only learn how to introduce themselves and their friends, they will explore appropriate language for quotidian and special occasions, how to enter and leave conversations, proper table behavior for different scenarios, effective strategies for conflict resolution and negotiation, the importance of tone, expression, and body language in every social interaction and why manners and soft skills are essential to a successful life.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/essay-writing" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Speech and Essay Writing: Ages 10-18</a></p> <p>This group class includes eight one-hour online sessions focused on the creation, development, and delivery of informative and persuasive speeches. This program is tailored to the needs of the individual(s) in question and can include essay writing, use of stylistic devices, and persuasive rhetoric and/or instructions on how to craft and deliver a persuasive or informative multidimensional presentation with compelling slides, audio, and videos.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/visual-storytelling" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Visual Storytelling</a></p> <p>Multimedia platforms have increasingly become more popular for educators, artists and businesses. Young people all over the world have begun using media to amplify initiatives, educate, share science, poetry, art, movement, culture and more. In this class students will learn to capture brief videos that share their voice and vision with the world.</p> <p>College application course </p> <p>Discover the fundamentals of style, narrative, and theme for the ideal college application essays! In these sessions, you will begin by examining outstanding Personal Statements and by brainstorming your own. Then, move on to draft and edit the specialized supplemental essays for each college on your list. Space is limited to ensure personalized attention.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/essay-writing" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Academic writing</a> </p> <p>These are sessions focused on academic writing. Our tutors have years of experience in drafting, editing, and teaching essay writing. Each package will include a consultation with our tutors to assess individual needs. </p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/test-prep-sat-shsat-act-gre-gmat-asvab-tachs-more">Test Prep: SAT, SHSAT, ACT, GRE, GMAT, ASVAB, TACHS + more</a></p> <p>These classes are focused on identifying the quickest and most efficient path toward improving students' standardized test scores. Starting with a diagnostic practice exam, this program will target the key subject matter your students need to master while integrating timing, triage, and practice strategies. We aim to regularly emulate the real-life conditions of tests until students are comfortable working quickly, accurately, and efficiently. Sessions can be one hour or two hours in length, as needed.</p> <p>Computer Programming: Coding for Kids</p> <p>In these sessions, we start by discussing the basics of computer programming, what it is, what it can do, and what it was built on. Then we will begin experimenting with block-based programming languages. Students will learn the basics of computer architecture, binary code, compilers, and algorithms. By the end of the course, students will be able to produce small programs of their own. The cost of materials is not included. This class is available to younger students (Ages K-1) and middle and high school students. </p> <p> </p> <p> </p>

BAMkids

<p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;" data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">BAMkids presents adventurous art and ideas for young audiences, igniting the imaginations of creative kids ages 3—11 with a fun and engaging lineup of workshops, movie matinees, and live performances from around the world.</span></p>

Adventuring Portal

<p><a name="m_-1473885667065203258__Hlk72147528"></a>Adventuring Portal runs Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) games for kids.   We have created a safe online space for tweens and teens to learn and play D&D.</p> <p>Our D&D Summer Camp session are a one-week experience.  Monday – Friday.  Each day will be 3 hours of gaming (with 2 breaks build in).  15 total gaming hours for $180.  If you have played with us before, you are entitled to 10% off.   </p> <p>Need your kids, nieces or nephews, grand kids or neighbor’s kids to be occupied for a bit so you can get work done & take care of your to-do list? Maybe your tween or teen is still a bit isolated and craves connection with their peers? Whether your teen/tween has played D&D before or is brand-new to the experience, this safe space brings players together to have fun and solve problems as a team in ways few other online opportunities do.</p> <p>All our games focus on experiential learning.   Our players leave knowing all the basic game play as well as experiencing: teamwork, bravery, compassion, generosity, negotiation, improvisation, gamer etiquette, strategy, critical thinking, problem solving, cartography and probability - all through online D&D adventuring!</p> <p>We are an inclusive organization and welcome gamers who are LGBTQIA+ and those on any spectrum. </p> <p>All girls’ groups available. </p> <p>I am a parent, a certified elementary school and middle school math teacher and last summer in the midst of the mess started Adventuring Portal, an online Dungeons & Dragons business for kids. There are so many benefits to playing D&D and I hope you will consider us as a great way for your child to safely socialize, grow as people and have a great time.</p>