Although Dr. Jennifer Shu is the former director of the newborn nursery at Dartmouth and currently a pediatrician with the Children’s Medical Group in Atlanta, she found that nothing teaches parents about babies like having one. When Dr. Shu had her child, she experienced firsthand the gap between the formal medical advice she had been trained to offer and the practical tips that many parents need, which ultimately led her to co-author the book, “Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality.” New York Family asked Dr. Shu to share her most important tips for new moms and dads.
Set realistic expectations. The key to success for new parents is managing expectations, says Dr. Shu. No baby is perfect, nor should a woman expect herself to be a Supermom. Remembering that all babies behave differently and keeping your expectations within that framework allows parents to have a more positive outlook. Feeding is one area that moms should approach with an open mind, according to Dr. Shu. While breastfeeding is natural, it does not come naturally. It can take anywhere from two weeks to two months to become comfortable with it. Formula feeding is a bit easier, although it can involve some trial and error in finding suitable nipples and formulas.
Remember the baby is in control now. Embrace the fact that the baby is in control. Moms should sleep when the baby does and should not feel guilty about letting the housework go undone while resting. Babies are happy when their moms are rested and well cared for. While new parents may be accustomed to measuring things quantitatively – rationing out food or tracking ounces of fluid, for example – this is another area where they must let the baby be in control. If the baby is hungry, she will ask for food. With formula feeding, it is important to avoid overfeeding the baby; the baby may not want to eat the amount made, so let her eat what she wants. As long as the baby is peeing and pooping, she is probably getting what she needs.
Develop a routine. Infants learn what others want from them when parents create a set routine. Dr. Shu recommends sticking to a schedule of: sleep, eat, awake. This routine lets babies know that when they wake up, they can expect to eat, and after they eat, they will be awake for a little bit before they sleep again. By one month, babies have enough awake time after they eat that they do not need to fall asleep on you. Soothe them until they get quiet and drowsy but not fully asleep, then lay them in their crib. Dr. Shu recommends avoiding the urge to rock the baby, so that he will lie in his crib and figure out how to get himself to sleep. After about four months, babies need to be able to put themselves back to sleep, and this helps train them.
Keep important safety tips in mind. Know how to prevent SIDS as best as possible by putting the baby to sleep on his back, and consider using a pacifier in the first year. Nothing loose and fluffy, including comforters and pillows, should ever be in the crib with the baby. The crib mattress should fit tightly and have a securely fitting sheet over it. Only a thin blanket should be placed over the baby. Bumpers should be secured and very thin, and they can become entrapments once babies start rolling. Another consideration is protecting the baby from the sun. Dr. Shu says that although the bottles say sunscreen is not recommended for children younger than 6 months, it is okay to put sunscreen on babies’ hands and other exposed areas. Dermatologists say it is better to risk an allergic reaction than skin cancer.
Take a preventive approach to your baby’s health. Because their immune systems are not very strong for the first month or two, babies can get sick very quickly. Dr. Shu explains that because illness spreads quickly, the first sign of fever or irregular behavior is not something to wait out, as it might be with an older child. A sick infant is always an urgent issue.
Reach out to friends and family. Families traditionally have been an essential support for new mothers. Dr. Shu urges parents not to be afraid to accept help when friends and family offer it; they would not offer if they did not mean it. Also, do not hesitate to seek help. In the absence of nearby family members, look for babysitting and other services through doctors’ offices, parenting classes and groups, or neighborhood listserves.
