As mothers across the city—and the country—process the varying views on leaning in, opting out, and balancing it all, we turned to four power players in NYC’s fast-paced real estate industry to get their unique perspectives on work, motherhood, and making smart real estate choices for your family. If your idea of “having it all” means loving where you live, cherishing quality family time, and keeping on top of one of the most competitive fields in the city, these maverick moms have the market cornered (part one of two).
MaryAnne Gilmartin, President and CEO of Forest City Ratner Companies
Describe your main professional responsibilities.
After 20 years of working under Bruce Ratner, founding chairman and CEO of Forest City, he asked me to succeed him in running the day to day business. I am responsible for both the development business and the operating portfolio of the New York operation.
Tell us about any career highlights you’re proud of.
There are three great New York icons I had the great honor of helping to shape—the New York Times building in Midtown, New York by Gehry at 8 Spruce Street, and the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. Each of these changed the city skyline and contributed nicely to the health of our city. This not only makes the work rewarding, but it also makes it easier for my kids to understand and appreciate what I do.
Do you have any rules to help balance work and home life?
First, I refuse to use the word “balance.” It sets me up to fail. I haven’t truly felt balanced in a long time. The work-life push-pull is more like a seesaw… This view has saved me from extreme guilt and hopelessness. Second, I cheat with sleep. The early morning is time for body and soul—that’s when I exercise. Late at night, I do my best thinking… Third, when I am with my kids, I am with them… This is a somewhat sacred rule, and it’s helped keep me whole as a working mom. Finally, I remember that my husband is always there for our family. As a stay-at-home dad, he is our quiet warrior and my secret weapon. He often coaches me to let go and let him take charge when it comes to the demands of home life.
What neighborhood and in what kind of housing do you live?
For over a decade, we raised our children in Westchester because when my husband and I decided to have kids, we couldn’t afford to live the life we wanted in the city. We decided the added space, the quality of life, and the grass between their toes would be better for them. But we stayed connected to the city through that period—so much so that a year ago our 15-year-old led a relentless campaign to move to Brooklyn. At the end of August, we moved to Park Slope and the kids just started school around the block from our brownstone.
What do you like most about your neighborhood?
What’s not to like about Park Slope? The brownstone scale, the tree-lined streets, the park; great transportation, amazing food and culture—it’s simply divine. It’s close to my work, which has great benefits, but also drawbacks. Development can be controversial—and some folks like what we have done and some don’t. This means I have brought some of that tension closer to my family, but all in all, it feels great.
Tell us about your kids and some of the neighborhood gems you like to share with them?
Every street, park, and corner is a place of discovery. Sixteen-year-old Devin loves the French crepes around the corner, 14-year-old Aidan loves Bergen Comics, and 9-year-old Tess just loves her school… Tess’ beaming smile as she entered her first day of 4th grade was the ultimate validation for our family’s adventurous relocation to Brooklyn. While it’s still new to us as a family, the neighborhood gems will no doubt run far and wide—dog runs at Prospect Park, the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and the [Brooklyn Museum] are just a few promising faves.
What are some of your favorite pearls of advice for families figuring out whether to choose the city over the suburbs?
Having lived in the ‘burbs, I appreciate the value proposition. But the commute to Brooklyn from Westchester was at times taxing; it created stress for me that at times made it very challenging as a working mom. The city today is so healthy and vibrant and it’s a cultural mecca for curious children and budding minds. I would say, if one can afford to raise a family in the city, there has never been a better time.
Melissa Pianko, Executive Vice President for Development at Gotham Organization
Describe your main professional responsibilities.
I oversee all of our residential projects here in New York. What that means is I take them through the entitlement phase, the acquisition, the financing, the joint venture negotiations, through the design, the oversight on construction through to marketing, and then ultimately to leasing the buildings.
What are the biggest challenges of your job?
The most difficult thing is keeping all the balls in the air and making sure that you toss the right one up at the right time.
Tell us about one of your career highlights.
The one I feel is my career highlight today is Gotham West. I was hired by Gotham Organization to work on that project about nine years ago. At that time, it was just an idea. I really nursed it through being built and to now getting leased. So it’s been an incredible opportunity to see a project from start to finish.
How would describe the essence of Gotham West?
Gotham West is a full-service luxury residential building [located on 45th Street and 11th Avenue]. It has a tremendous amount of amenities, including a playground and a playroom…in fact the toys for the playroom were actually selected by me, my 6-year-old, and my 3-year-old.
Do you have any personal rules that help you balance work and home life?
I think you’ve got to accept that not everything’s always going to be 100 percent… At work you’ve got to figure out how to delegate, and on the home front, it’s figuring out the things that matter to you. For example, I don’t cook… We’ve figured out how to make sure there’s dinner on the table every night, and my husband’s a good cook, but I gave up on being the host for holidays. I let my in-laws and parents handle that… For example, there was a big holiday and someone called me in the office and said: “How are you not home cooking?” And my response was: “I’m not the one who’s cooking. My kids are excited about the holiday and I’m going to feel good about the holiday, but I’m not going to be the one who made the turkey.” And that has to be okay.
Tell us about why you chose the city over the suburbs.
To be a working mom, I found it imperative to stay in the city and not move to the suburbs. Because if you work a lot of hours and you’re also not living somewhere close to where you work, the time that you might have had to see your kids is taken up with commuting. My husband and I are both urban people and we love being a part of New York. On a practical level, we decided to stay in the city because it was going to be much easier for our family.
Where do you live and how old are your children?
I live on the Upper West Side in a condo. I have a little boy, who’s 3, and a girl who’s 6.
What are some hidden gems on the Upper West Side that you and your family love?
I think the thing that’s really been great for us is The JCC. My oldest went to preschool there and my other child still goes to preschool there, and it offers such an array of different activities—every Saturday they have free programming and you can just drop in… It’s called R and R and it’s a great resource for the community.
Is there anything about your condo that is particularly conducive to family living?
I don’t like to take my work home with me, so I bought a fully renovated unit. A long time ago we bought a co-op and I gutted it and spent time picking every fixture and appliance; that was before kids. [With] kids and a full time job, you just want to move into something that’s done.
What is your advice for families who are deciding where to live in the city?
When you first have a child, you don’t really think about what services you’re going to need as the child gets older—so you want to make sure there are people with older children also living in your neighborhood, so you know it’s going to withstand the test of time.
Tami Veikos, Senior Vice President at Related Management
Describe your main professional responsibilities.
I manage the operations of over 10,000 luxury residential units across the country.
Tell us about one of your career highlights.
Unlike other developers and property managers, Related has an extensive customer service platform, which is something I helped develop. Related is continuously looking to expand and enhance the resident experience, so much so that we conduct yearly surveys to understand how residents are interacting with our properties and their overall lifestyle experience.
Do you have any personal rules or priorities to help you balance work and home life?
I try to be patient with myself and try not to put too much pressure on finding that “balance,” because every day is different and you really have to roll with it. Somehow I have never missed an important doctor/dental appointment for my daughters and have attended every concert, recital, and back-to-school night. They know they are my priority, but there are times I just can’t be home for dinner. But my biggest asset is my husband.
Where do you live and in what kind of housing?
I left New York City in 1998 when my second daughter was almost a year old. We now live in Westport, Connecticut in a private home on a quiet cul-de-sac.
What do you like most about your neighborhood?
Other than great schools, Westport has a lot of town amenities. We live on the Long Island Sound, so we have great beaches and waterfront living. We have a town pool, golf course, skating rink and tennis courts galore. People ask me where I go on vacation and I say: “Why go anywhere when you live in Westport?”
What do you like most about your home?
I like rustic and antique décor, and I spent several years attending antique fairs buying one piece at a time. I also expanded the house and redesigned both the exterior and interior spaces that needed updating… I like to say we added the charm factor to a house that had great bones but little in the way of warmth and character.
What motivated you to move to Westport?
I always intended to stay in New York City after getting married and having my first child… I knew, however, that if I wanted another child we might have to move because the cost of school for two, not to mention the space needed, would stretch the wisdom of staying in the city. After looking at many towns along the 95 corridor [with my then-husband], I fell in love with Westport… When I got divorced six years ago, I actually moved back to the city. I put my house on the market and picked out an apartment. However, as people started traipsing through our home, my daughters and I became miserable and realized how much we loved our home and couldn’t leave it.
Tell us about your children—what are some of the neighborhood places and activities you like to share with them?
My oldest daughter Madeleine Rose is 19 and a sophomore at the University of Michigan. My youngest daughter Juliet Claire is turning 16 in November. When the girls were little, we would spend countless hours down at the Westport town beach where they have a fantastic playground right on the sand. Apple picking at Silverman’s Farms was a fave, as well as many library events where celebrities, musicians, and writers would perform… There are also great restaurants and shopping, which, as the girls grew older, have become more “important” to them.
What are some of your favorite tips for families who are debating whether to raise city kids or move to the suburbs?
Everyone has to make their own minds up depending on their own experiences, history, finances, and lifestyle expectations. I think the most important thing to do is consider you and your partner’s circumstances, not just now but in the next 5-10 years, and what will ultimately make you happy first. I truly believe children follow their parents, and if you are not happy, they won’t be either.
Tricia Hayes Cole, Executive Managing Director at Corcoran Sunshine Marketing Group
Describe your main professional responsibilities.
Corcoran Sunshine Marketing Group is the recognized leader in the planning, design, marketing, and sale of luxury residential real estate. As a managing director, I oversee a team of personnel in all capacities of our role as sales and marketing agent including all phases of the planning, design, marketing, and sales processes for new developments.
Tell us about some career highlights.
I have worked on dozens of condominiums over the past 13 years, and I take pride in all of them. Sort of like your children—you love them all equally even though they have different strengths and different personalities.
Do you have any personal rules or priorities to help you balance work and home life?
I try very hard to not allow work to interfere with focusing 100 percent on spending quality time with my kids on the weekends. Also, it is non-negotiable for me if one of my kids has a special school event or performance that being there will always take priority. I also make sure to put the Blackberry down and give them each one-on-one attention every evening when I arrive home, including checking on the status of all the homework.
Where do you live and in what kind of housing?
We live in the Flatiron District, right near Madison Square Park, in a doorman condominium high rise. We own a duplex with a small terrace facing south.
What do you like most about your neighborhood?
When I first moved to the building in 1993, I was working on Wall Street, single, and just out of business school. I moved to the building and rented an unsold sponsor apartment with a roommate… It is such a central location—it is very easy to travel uptown or downtown, east or west… Over the years, the neighborhood has changed dramatically and seems to have evolved in parallel to my life and needs. In 1993 no one wanted to spend time in Madison Square Park, but now it is a wonderful spot where my kids and I love to play and relax—and eat at Shake Shack.
What do you like most about your home? What do you like least?
I rented in my building for five years before my husband and I bought our home. With the birth of our daughter on the horizon, we decided it was time to renovate…then expanded by combining with the one bedroom next door that my parents own. We absolutely love our home, but the downside of that is a constant feeling of “new home envy.” I’m fortunate to work on some of the most incredible new developments the city has to offer, so it can be very tempting.
Tell us about your family. What are some of the neighborhood places and activities you like to share with them?
I have three kids: 10-year-old Mackenzie, 7-year-old Bromme II who we call “Bix,” and 4-year-old Waverly. My kids all enjoy the neighborhood parks, especially Madison Square Park and the playground at Union Square Park. They take classes and attend summer camp at Chelsea Piers. My son Bix loves [going to] Chess NYC on West Third Street. Chelsea Waterside Park is a big hit in the hot summer months, as well as the Hudson River Park. Over the years the kids have enjoyed New York Kids Club and are especially fond of apple seeds. Being a math major in college, I was so excited to learn of the National Museum of Mathematics on 26th Street.
What are some pearls of advice for families who are figuring out where to live in the city, or choosing between the city and the suburbs?
One thing that has become very apparent to me over the years is to think about how your choice of home location will impact the commute to and from school every day. With three kids currently in two different schools, this is something I recognize has an impact on many other aspects of your life in a real way.
