I’ve been thinking a lot about gender and the very new issues that the idea of gender is raising lately. I don’t think I ever considered it before the last few months, but suddenly one is hearing about gender neutrality and I’m finding it fascinating. There are forms available now where a third gender possibility is optional, neutral.
I recall back when I was in school that there was a boy who sat next to me who was a rather odd character. He was without friends and seemed to actually lack an apparent personality. Every day I said hello to him although he would only nod in response. He was beyond shy, and never spoke to anyone as I recall. He was an enigma. It made me sad and I purposely went out of my way every day to give him a greeting waiting for the day when he would open up. He never did.
Some years later, I was shopping at a major department store and a rather elegantly dressed and beautiful woman asked me if I had gone to such and such a school. I said yes and she told me she was a former classmate of mine. I couldn’t imagine who she could be because she looked like no one I had ever known before. She said she wasn’t at all surprised that I didn’t recognized her because she was very changed from the way she looked in school. It turned out that this lovely woman used to be that very shy and repressed boy who sat next to me in class and in the choir. She then went on to tell me that it took her many unhappy years to realize, accept and then act on the fact that she was in the wrong body. She also thanked me for having been kind to her. She said I was the only one.
There have been numerous articles written lately and TV programs about experiences like this and many parents are being advised to take seriously the issues of gender identity confusion or questioning and seek professional counseling. In this issue there is a letter posed to our columnist Sharon Peters from a concerned parent whose child is professing to be a different sex. She is unprepared for this reality and wisely is reaching out. Fortunately, like many of the other topics in today’s more transparent world, this issue is being addressed with greater sensitivity and intelligence.
Parenting is the most important thing anyone will ever do. It demands great patience, skill and adaptability and the willingness to reach out for help when help is needed.
Thanks for reading. Have a great month. It’s almost spring
