One of our favorite child sleep consultants, Mommywise’s
Natalie Nevares, offers five wonderful tips—and some kindly perspective—for
helping a toddler with sleeping issues. —
[Editor’s Note To Parents: As you read through
Natalie’s sleep advice, keep in mind that we have extended our Sleep
Giveaway
with her for one more week to Friday, 4/20. If you have a baby or toddler who is
struggling with sleep—or if you have a friend in a fix—please take a minute to
share the giveaway and,
of course, the article below.]
If your toddler fights bedtime or routinely needs you
through the night, you might be plagued with worry that you’ve made a mistake,
or worse—that you’ll never sleep again! Though I don’t believe there is a
one-size-fits-all sleep solution for any family, I’m happy to share some of my best-kept
secrets that often help parents trick their toddlers into fighting less, and
sleeping more.
One caveat: If none of these work, don’t judge yourself or
think you’ve done anything “wrong”. Instead, be proud that your brilliant
toddler can outsmart you, but keep trying until you’re all sleeping!
1. Sleep Associations
Consider how your toddler falls asleep. Does she fall asleep
in your arms, in your bed, with you by her side, or by herself in her Big Girl
bed? Does she fall asleep with a bottle or pacifier? I’m willing to bet my
firstborn that however she falls asleep, she will insist on the same thing
throughout the night, which means less sleep for everyone. So I’d like to
invite you to think of how you can change your toddler’s sleep associations, to
empower her to feel safe and secure falling asleep without your “help”.
2. Talk To Your Toddler
It may seem too obvious, but have you ever talked with your
toddler about what “normal” sleep is? Most families I see haven’t, but this
common-sense approach is often key to solving toddler sleep dramas. Perhaps you
think your toddler won’t understand, or because he can’t respond, he won’t get
it. Try anyway. I’ve seen it work with 11-month-old babies. We all wake up
during the night. It’s normal. We roll over and go back to sleep. Tell your
toddler what you do when you wake up at night. Do you adjust your pillows or
pull your blanket up? Remind him that when he wakes up, he can hug his monkey
(or fill in the blank), and fall back asleep!
3. Limit Fluids & Bump Up The Diaper Size
Toddlers know when they pee. You might hear your toddler
say, “I peed!” with a proud grin during the day. Well, guess what? They’re also
aware of when they pee at night! This can cause extra night wakings and those
dreadful early morning wake-ups. So try cutting down on evening fluid. Try to
eliminate or reduce bottles, and only offer sips of water past 6pm. If that’s not possible, or you’re just
too sleep-deprived to deal, try increasing the night diaper size. If your
toddler wears a size 5, move up to a 6, even if it looks a little big. Bigger
diapers hold more fluid and leak less.
4. Timing Naps & Bedtime
Look closely at your timing. Being overtired and
undertired are primary causes of toddler sleep battles. Ask yourself if it’s
possible that your toddler is overtired by the time you put her down. If you
see yawning, eye-rubbing or crazy, adrenaline-like behavior, try putting her
down earlier. I know it may seem impossible to get your kids to bed before 8pm, but try. They’ll always want one more
thing, but you can create limits if you’re consistent. Also consider that if
your toddler takes two naps a day, or sleeps for three hours at 3pm, a bedtime battle will likely ensue. But
if your previously easy bedtime has become total combat, it could be that
he’s getting ready to drop a nap or eliminate them completely. Yes, this IS
terrifying for toddler parents, but some kids are just ready to give up their
nap by two years old. But think of it this way: Would you rather fight with
your toddler about naps daily and deal with a stressful 9-10pm bedtime or phase out his naps and put him to bed
with less struggle at 7-7:30pm?
5. Motivational Techniques
If all else fails, bribe your toddler. Yes, I know it’s
controversial, but I double-dog dare you to try it. I often find that a simple
reward for trying something new is all the incentive a toddler needs to take
that step, whether it’s trying a new food, giving up diapers, or not crying out for
you in the middle of the night. Behavior modification charts might work for
some kids, but what’s better than a cupcake for breakfast?
For more about Natalie Nevares and her program for helping
babies and toddlers with sleep problems, visit mommywise.com.
For more about our special Sleep Giveaway with Natalie, click
here.
