Last week was my very first week as a stay-at-home mom–except my baby hasn’t exactly been born yet, so at this point I’m really more of a
stay-at-home pregnant person. I think it went okay, although I did learn some
fairly obvious things that I should have learned a long time ago.
In fact, on my first day I learned a couple of really
obvious things about grocery shopping. — You see, up until now my husband and I
would do our grocery shopping together, usually on Saturdays. Since the grocery
store is always crowded on weekends, we would make our list and go in with a
plan—he would find half the things on the list, I would find the other half,
then I would meet up with him in line. He always got in line before I did
because he likes to find what he’s looking for, buy it and leave. I like to…look at things, compare prices and nutrition facts, daydream about what I could
make with this or that….
Anyway, once we learned we were expecting and it was decided
that I would stay home, I fantasized about the day I could go to the grocery
store and it wouldn’t be a mob scene. I envisioned myself drinking coffee with one
hand and leisurely pushing my grocery cart with the other, stopping to look at
whatever I wanted for as long as I wanted. Occasionally I would pass another
customer in the aisle, a fellow stay-at-home mom or perhaps an elderly lady.
After all, who else goes to Trader Joe’s at eleven o’clock on a Monday morning?
Answer: A LOT of people. People of all ages, ethnicities and
walks of life. So many people that, last Monday around eleven o’clock, I found
myself sloshing coffee all over myself while maneuvering my way through a sea
of fellow shoppers, frantically tossing things into my cart in an attempt to
just get everything and get out of there.
Which brings me to the next really obvious rule of grocery shopping,
stay-at-home pregnant person or not: DO NOT BUY A CARLOAD OF GROCERIES IF YOU
DO NOT HAVE A CAR.
With two people, four bags of groceries is a cinch to carry home. But now there was just me. Oh, and did I mention that I’m
pregnant?
"I hope you aren’t carrying these very far," the employee at
the checkout counter said.
"Oh, not far at all!" I lied. (By now I was beginning to understand
why some city moms prefer to do their grocery shopping out-of-state.)
Needless to say, everything turned out fine. I managed to
haul the goods home without going into preterm labor and promised myself that
next time I will bring my granny cart. Plus, the woman at the checkout was kind
enough to tell me the least crowded times of the week to shop. Anyone
interested in knowing what they are can look for my forthcoming book, "The
Complete Idiot’s Guide To Being A Stay-At-Home Pregnant Person."
(Just kidding! It’s 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. on Tuesdays and
Wednesdays.)
