It is somehow assumed that parents of very young children largely read our magazines. I dispute that with certainty. I look at the demographic information we get from readers and it tells me otherwise. It tells me that parents of children from 0 to 18 are in the mix and of course, why not? We regularly publish articles and columns on pre-teen and teen issues and being a parent myself, I can tell you first hand that the real parenting questions begin when your 12 year old is straining to be 13.
At just about that time they begin to ignore you in every way they can and the mad rebellion begins. Their friends begin to take on more credibility than you do and peer influence seems to take over. Then there are the marketing folks and the digital reality that programs them to shop and buy and run in a pack with their friends toward every new trend that hits the street for their age group.
Having a teen is much harder than having a 2 year old, even one who’s adept at pitching fits. With the 2 year old it will soon be over and they will get in the groove and be your fabulous little kid, but with the 12 year old each passing day brings on more independence from you and from your established order.
The messiness, lack of articulate response, friends whose opinion overrides yours, can be some of the negatives one can experience with the teen(s) in your family. On the other hand, newfound maturity, a person with valid opinions, the almost grown-up you imagined your newborn would become someday is an amazing thing to behold. In my case from the moment my daughter got taller than me, she stopped seeing me as the elder and our roles often started reversing. In looking down at me, her attitude drastically changed and our battle for control began.
It’s very challenging to be a parent. It’s particularly challenging to try to be a good competent parent to a teenager. They’re on their way out and they know it. Still, our responsibilities go on and we have to steel ourselves with determination to steer the course. They may be tall, but they are not yet truly “grown” and we still need to remain vigilant and keep our ears and eyes open and be watchful. Boundaries are necessary although they will try our patience over and over as they cross them repeatedly. Consequences then become very important follow-ups. Lessons learned over and over hopefully help to cement character in our youngsters and help prepare them for the big wide world out there.
There are very good articles in this issue. I genuinely hope you read them, even if your family’s teen years are way in the future. It’s not too early to get prepared. It’s a big job.
Thanks for reading!
