Actress Emma Watson gave a riveting speech on gender and feminism at the United Nations to launch the “HeForShe” campaign, a movement with the objective to unite one billion men and boys as advocates to help end the inequalities that women and girls face, worldwide. The social media world lit up because her words were so powerful:
“I decided I was a feminist and this seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Apparently I am among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, anti-men. Unattractive, even. Why is the word such an uncomfortable one? I think it is right that as a woman I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body.”
It’s a vital point. I’m still wholeheartedly surprised at how many young women in 2014 still equate being a feminist with being a man hater, and consequently shy away from identifying with the term, lest they seem unattractive to the opposite sex. Many still don’t see that until we stand up for ourselves and demand that we get equal treatment, we will not receive the same rights. That’s why Watson is enlisting the help of men, because we all need to demand equal treatment internationally, where being female in some countries is equivalent to being property rather than human. It’s not just a female thing; it’s a human thing. What’s been uplifting and promising are the many young male actors who have joined the campaign, proudly proclaiming they too are feminists because being a feminist means standing up for equal rights for women, and a man can do that just as much as a woman can.
Outside of our country, being female can be detrimental. The global initiative “Because I am a Girl” states, “Because she is a girl, she’s more likely to suffer from malnutrition, be forced into an early marriage, be subjected to violence, be sold into the sex trade, or become infected with HIV. Because she is a girl, she faces discrimination in her own home. Because she is a girl, she’ll have limited access to a doctor or even a primary education (if she’s able to go to school at all).”
It’s also important to remember that this outdated gender view does not only impede women, it also harms men. The ridiculous idealized version of a man places severe limits on the minds and hearts of boys everywhere.
As Watson said, “Men, gender equality is your issue, too. Because to date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society, despite my need of his presence as a child, as much as my mother’s. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man.”
I have to admit this did not fully hit home with me until I had a son and I began to realize the strict societal pressures placed on boys to be tough, hide their emotions, and win at all costs. It’s the exact opposite of what I want for my son. In order for him to grow to become a loving and supportive husband, he will need to be sensitive, patient and caring. The “locker room laughing hockey jock” (from Morrissey’s new song “I’m Not A Man”) version of a man is in direct opposition to the full gamut of being a human being with a heart and compassion, just as being a fragile, people-pleasing female is in direct opposition with the innate strength and capabilities of a woman.
Our girls need to be just as strong as our boys need to be sensitive, just as problem solving as our boys need to be empathetic, and just as capable as our boys need to be expressive. Denying any emotion in human beings is never right. Ask yourself: would you want your daughter to be entitled to anything less than the boy sitting next to her, whether it’s grades, attention, equal pay or status? Do you want her to be sexualized at every turn? Do you want your son to have to stuff his feelings or think he has to acquire romantic conquests as part of his identity? Would you ever want your child to do things in life that make him or her miserable because that’s what’s expected of him or her?
As Watson stated, “Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It’s time we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are.”
Danielle Sullivan, a mom of three, has worked as a writer and editor in the parenting world for more than 10 years. Sullivan also writes about pets and parenting for Disney’s Babble.com. Find Sullivan on her blogs, Just Write Mom and Some Puppy To Love.
