Fitter Fathers

It was several months ago when my husband, who had been complaining of stomach pains for the better part of a week, woke up one morning looking pale and clammy. I had urged him to call the doctor for days, but this morning I was adamant. “You need to see the doctor today,” I told him.

“I’ll call when I get a chance. I’ve got a busy day,” he replied, clutching his stomach as he reached for his suit jacket and headed out the door.

When he got home from work late that evening, he looked even worse. I handed him the phone and told him to call the doctor—immediately. By 8 am, he was having emergency surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital to remove his appendix.

My husband’s tendency to wait until the eleventh hour to seek medical treatment is far from unique. A recent survey conducted by the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP) found that more than a quarter of men will wait “as long as possible” before seeking medical treatment for sickness or pain and that more than half of the men surveyed had not had a complete physical exam in more than a year.

The consequences for this behavior are far reaching. Obesity is on the rise in America, and more than 70 percent of men are overweight, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC also reports that more than one fifth of men still smoke, and the AAFP states that only 38 percent of men exercise on a regular basis. In addition, men continue to avoid the doctor’s office and, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, are less likely than women to go in for regular health care screenings. Is it any wonder then that men have a lower life expectancy than women or that a woman is twice as likely as a man to live to the age of 85?

“One of the biggest obstacles to improving the health of men is often the men themselves,” says AAFP President Dr. Rick Kellerman. “They generally see themselves as healthy, but our research shows they appear to have quite a significant disease burden. More than 40 percent of men have at least one chronic illness. And yet they just don’t make their health care a priority.”

Understanding the Male Brain

So why does an otherwise reasonable man act so unreasonably when it comes to his own health? According to Dr. Emily Senay, medical correspondent for CBS’s “The Early Show” and co-author of the book “From Boys to Men: A Woman’s Guide to the Health of Husbands, Partners, Sons, Fathers and Brothers,” men have a deeply rooted “aversion to self-care” that has evolved through the cultural conditioning of boys and men.%uFFFD

“Men don’t want to appear vulnerable,” Dr. Senay said. According to her book, boys are taught from a very young age that being a man means acting strong and stoic. As they grow up, she writes, “boys get the message they shouldn’t cry or complain, that they should tough out pain and hardship.” By adulthood, these concepts have become deeply ingrained.%uFFFD

Accordingly, men learn to shrug off signs of illness and gloss over any pain and suffering. “I don’t think men want to accept the fact that they are getting older, that they need to see a doctor or have regular screenings,” added Kellerman. “They have some sort of denial mechanism built in when it comes to their own health care.”%uFFFD Futhermore, young men are not programmed to think about preventative medicine the same way that women are. Women, for example, transition from a pediatrician to a gynecologist as they grow up. Men don’t experience the same continuity with health care providers and are often left to fend for themselves after they leave the family home, according to Dr. Timothy Dutta, Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College.

It can be easy for men to let things “slip through the cracks,” according to Dutta. “Preventative medicine can be an uphill battle. When people are feeling well, it can be hard to drag them in for checkups and screenings. But it is important,” he said.%uFFFD

Edmond Levy, 37, an Upper West Side father of two, noted that while he gets regular dental checkups, his doctor visits have lapsed. “The last time I went for a full physical was probably two years ago. I know I have to go again. That is one thing that I sometimes end up procrastinating about.”

These attitudes and behaviors, combined with the stress of balancing a demanding career and a hectic family schedule, can make health care a low priority for many NYC dads. Dutta notes that patients who come in specifically for treatment of acute symptoms often point to their busy schedules as the reason for skipping their annual physicals.%uFFFD%uFFFD

Helping Men Make Positive Changes

Experts agree men need to start giving their own health care the attention it deserves. Here’s a primer on what men—and the women who love them—can do to help them live longer, healthier lives.%uFFFD%uFFFD

Gentle Encouragement

The AARP study found that 78 percent of married men say their wives have influence over their decision to go to the doctor. “When you speak to other women,” said Senay, “you’ll often hear them talk about how they are the ones to carry the flag for health care within the family, often pushing the men in their lives to go to the doctor when they don’t want to.” Spouses and significant others have a positive effect on men’s health, according to Kellerman, and this may even contribute to the reason why married men live longer than unmarried men. He advises women to encourage men to go to the doctor more often and, when necessary, even schedule the appointment for them.%uFFFD

Identify a Source of Motivation

Kellerman also recommends appealing to men’s personal interests to help inspire them to take better care of themselves. For some, that may mean knowing they’ll be around to play with their children or grandchildren. For others, it may mean performing better at work or enjoying their dream vacation. Senay says it is important to help men recognize that being “strong and responsible” also means proactively addressing their health care instead of ignoring it. “It’s true. I know it’s not just about me anymore. Kids need their dad to be around for a long time,” acknowledged Levy. And, according to Senay, setting a good example for our children is an important part of being a good father.%uFFFD%uFFFD

Find a Doctor You Like…And See Him Regularly

Routine physicals can help detect conditions early on, when they are easier to treat. Dutta recommends finding a doctor that you feel comfortable with and then seeing him or her once a year for an annual physical. At the exam, the doctor should take a medical history of the patient, as well as a family history, conduct a full baseline physical examination and make sure all immunizations are up to date. Depending on age and other risk factors, doctors may recommend conducting specific screening tests as well. Primary care physicians can also provide counsel on healthy lifestyle choices.%uFFFD%uFFFD

Watch What You Eat

“A good diet now pays off years or decades later,” Dutta said, noting that eating right can help prevent cardiovascular disease, heart attacks, strokes and diabetes. “As early as our 20s and 30s, our metabolisms are starting to slow down,” he said, and establishing good eating habits early on can help keep men healthier longer.%uFFFD

Hit the Gym

According to the American Heart Association, regular exercise can help reduce the risk of heart disease, improve cholesterol levels, manage high blood pressure, boost energy levels, reduce stress, relieve tension and anxiety and keep weight at a healthy level.%uFFFD

“When it comes to exercise, anything is good. And the more you do the better,” said Dutta. If you find the treadmill boring, consider joining a basketball league or taking a hike. Activities such as dancing, strenuous yard work, swimming, and bike riding are all effective forms of exercise. The key is developing a consistent, enjoyable fitness routine that will keep you moving for at least 30 minutes five days a week.

Of course, finding time to hit the gym is difficult when one’s schedule is further tightened by a baby. Brett Leitner, 34, whose daughter Sasha is 3 months old, says, “Now with the new baby I feel like I have even less time to factor exercise into my life. I’m going to bed later, getting up earlier and coming home with more things to do. But I do try to walk as much as possible.”

Carl Skutch, 44, a father of one, said he gets his exercise through necessary tasks. “I bike most days. I don’t really bike for exercise; I bike for transportation. I bike to work, to see friends, to go shopping. I do it mostly because I enjoy it, but I’m glad it has a healthy side effect.”%uFFFD

Quit Smoking

Smoking increases the risk for chronic diseases, including many forms of cancer, heart disease and respiratory disease, as well as strokes. Kicking the habit can have significant health benefits for men, regardless of their age or how long they’ve smoked, according to the American Cancer Society. Ex-smokers also report a higher quality of life after quitting through such benefits as experiencing fewer colds.