Executive functioning is a hot topic! Parents and teachers alike are talking about it. But what exactly is executive functioning, and how can you teach it to your child? Let’s dive in!
Executive functions are a set of skills that help a person navigate through the day-to-day necessities of life. It’s a mental framework. I tend to think of it like formatting a document or presentation, such as in PowerPoint. You use particular elements to create a visual arrangement and are able to drop in any content so you can configure it as needed.
Skills such as memory, attention span, problem solving, and planning are executive functions. We use these capabilities for how we learn, play, explore, and enjoy the world.
As children, we each subconsciously learned these skills. It was simple: we watched our parents and other small beings, and then developed our own strategies from our observations. Many of us are not aware of the skills that we use to focus or problem solve, as it has become automatic.
When small beings (or possibly medium and big beings) don’t adequately develop executive functioning skills, they will have difficulty completing seemingly basic tasks. Sometimes this struggle will result in challenging behavior.
I can empathize when small beings get frustrated when they don’t have the skills necessary to make basic life tasks easy. They lose their patience with them quickly, but they honestly don’t know what to do.
For example, a big being might tell a small being, “Go play.” Easy enough for a typically developing small being, but for a small being who does not have adequate executive functioning skills, the simple act of playing is a challenge.
You see, playing requires planning and an attention span. Since small beings are just learning to use language, they may not know how to ask for help or that help is needed, as frustration is their norm. In the moments when executive functions are the root of a problem, many small beings simply feel unsuccessful. Then these children act out, adults get mad, and they feel worse.
Rather than punishing or reprimanding your child for not doing what he is told, teach him how to succeed. Here are my top five tools for teaching executive functioning skills:
Provide step-by-step instructions. Just because you know how to do a task, it does not mean that your small being does. Breaking it down into small steps leads to big success.
Teach rote routines. There are certain activities we do everyday, like getting dressed, getting ready to leave the house, washing hands, etc. Provide a specific order to do each of these things and repeat the same order each day. Your child will soon learn the pattern and have more independence!
Create schedules. As adults, we have calendars that we reference all the time. Knowing what comes next gives us comfort. Teach your small being to create the same kind of list. If your schedule changes every day, then create a new schedule every day. All you need is pen and paper.
Use timers! Kids are often given time frames like “Read for 20 minutes” or “In five minutes you need to clean up.” How do they know when time is up? Set a timer. It will create awareness of time and independence.
Check in times. Don’t wait for your child to act out to check in on her. When she is playing nicely, provide ideas and suggestions of how it can keep going. This will keep her moving in the right direction.
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Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavioral therapist based in Brooklyn. She has worked with thousands of families for more than 15 years, and has condensed her observations into her practice and programs. For more on her, visit www.Behav
